还记得

 

Sleep is simply heavenly...

Have been sleeping after 12 these days. And this draft have been stuck as a draft ever since. LOL. Well, many many things had happened since i last blogged.. Say the end of A levels, and the numerous post As activities. Life now is so damn unpredictable. In the past, life was like a routine. Like everyday [weekdays], wake up, wash up, go school, follow time table, go home, mug, wash up and sleep. And the little variations occur within this sequence [not exactly sure how to express this.. more like while things are still unique to each day, they are different happenings for the same event.. say a bus trip home, during lesson, recess, etc..]. Now each time i wake up, the familiar routine is no longer attached. Instead, i get bored of waking up with nothing in particular to hope for. Thinking back, i was still complaining about how boring life is as it follows a routine in the past... And now i am missing it.. >.< I guess it is the greater meaning in life ba.

Despite having nothing to do, time still flies. it's already 8 dec and i have NOT finish packing my room, getting myself a job, signing myself up for driving... Gee. Time sure waits for no one.

Well, i have the time now to type this because i am stuck in aloha. It's raining hence i cannot go play tennis, rollerblade or cycle. Nor can i serve the net as there is no wireless SG here [feeling betrayed]. Anyway, this chalet is booked for my sis 21st bday, which celebration took place yesterday. I got to say that it sure got my family,especially my mom, pretty worked up much like a big project. They were hunting for the best deals for every food and utensils. Decorations too. And the big day finally arrived. As my as i had participated in so many events as facilitators, this is sure a different feel. you get to do most of the work that I WONT get to do in those events. Of which includes: helping with the cooking, being the camera man and tying of garbage bags. If you were here you will definitely agree that my extend family is not just big but HUGE! Coupled with my sister's friends.. WOW! At such occasions, i did like to kup some drinks and sit at some corner and stare at the sky but not a chance. Work Work! Refilling the drinks was one frequent job i had to do. And entertaining the many complaints that the drink is far too sweet [to my surprise cuz i tend to assume that people love sweeter stuff]. YUPz! After the long day, thought of going home for my nice bed but was still stuck here as the adults "swim" on the mahjong table and must stay back to help with the clearing up. Guess i will upload my masterpieces [photos taken] another time...

Speaking of photos: I WANT PROM PHOTOS!!! Gee. I did not bring my own camera [because i dont own one] for prom hence the photos taken were scattered around. I got to say prom was enjoyable and interesting. As much as i was concerned, most were jokes. I see myself appearing almost everywhere. As the speech was shifted from farewell to prom, i get to make my speech then. And after that, it was the thing that i was looking forward to most: 一支独秀. More like looking forward to get over with it. I got to say that i was definitely tired since the previous nights were late and particularly the night before was well.. worse. Was there at jing hui's house recording R&D first ever music product. I got to say it was really quite a masterpiece, considering that we only spent TWO DAYS! Even pros take longer than that i am sure [oh well, lets just assume that]. Being as tired as i was, i was quite surprise that i could still enjoy the prom and last through it [and even clowning a swim]. Hence i guess, the prom must REALLY be exciting for those who had more energy. Remembered telling June that i was still "lazy" before the actual dance. To dance well, one got to have force-ladled and clean moves of which the tired me find impossible to do. I find myself forgetting the moves even [though i can remember them well the day before]. But besides me, i think the rest danced well. I got to say i "enjoyed" the experience of those people [RJ people] staring at us form the corners of their eyes when me and junli walked into the meeting area. That "LOL! Shirt, jeans and SPORTS SHOES!" kinda look.HAHA! But i think it's fun deceiving people.

After the dance, i finally can eat! Or at least i thought so. Upon the end of the dance, Hongyi and the FORCED went to change into more decent clothing that better match the occasion. The two machos got suits while junli kup his bro's long sleeve shirt which looked good too. As for me, i think i am the only one who wore a vest that day. In fact, i got no idea how my full set will look like until then. All i did was piece all the things that i need together and bring them there. There were concerns about vest looking like that of waiters. Well, i though it was quite favourable if so. Can blend into the surrounding. LOL! But like what junli scouted, the waiters there dont wear vest. Guess that helped me get shortlist into the photogenic people competition. But I got to say that it really came to me as a shock. There are many many more glamorous looking people around. Remembered that i was just back onto my seat and finally eating my food [which my great table mates set aside for me + my nicely designed plate (photos to come after i get them)]. I was still stuffing 2 pieces of chicken into my mouth when i was called. As most names were double syllabus, when they called my name, it didnt register until i felt the numerous eye power from the instant shift in gaze. Damn. I got two pieces of chicken in my mouth! MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH! Get up on stage.. continue to chew. xP After being shortlist, i got to say the second round was something i am quite talented at: clowning around. The emcees brought out some interesting props and we were suppose to act something out. I got totally no idea what i am suppose to do hence i let the others get the prop they think can best "entertain" the crowd and judges [MR CHIA AND MDM LEONG!! =)]. Leng zai had the same thinking as me. So the pair of goggles landed in my hand. Not something unfamiliar since i do swim. And there i heard tzelin asking me to put it on. Seriously, i cant think of any other way to wear it. Things went naturally. I got how i want to put up the whole act quickly. The rest was courage. Since i had already been much of a clown, another wont harm right?? And the good thing was that.. the goggles FOG! =) so i can hardly see anyone through it. So my initial plan was this...

1. standard.. warm up
2. dive off the stage
3. free style front
4. back stroke to judges
5. do the stupid dive
6. frog style back
7. throw goggles away after climbing out of pool

but it seem like i only did until number 5 and the people were already LOL already. I really wondered how much of a clown i looked like! Since there were music playing in the background ["glamorous" i think], tired my best to follow the beat of the song [which was quite slow]. So after 5 which was the minimum to pose in front of the judges, paiseh-ness sets in and i ended my clowning abruptly. personally, i thought choonbok's act was really cool! HAHA! But we all got a good laugh. OH, and thanks mengshuen for his cool Polaroid photo. It totally caught me in the act sia. Shall post it up when i get home. Eventually, the winners were to be announced. I wanted to make my way back for more chicken when the emcees stopped us and junli chatted with me. Then the name came. Was it me again? Somehow, having my name announced seems weird. Nonetheless, mdm leong had an encouraging look so i just went up lo. The remaining of the prom was LOTS of photo taking, some eating, some lucky draw and the very entertaining selection for the ROYAL FAMILY for the event. As i was called out half way, i missed quite a great deal of it. Remembered the people on my table trembling with fear when min hua took up the mike [she was suppose to mimic the singer]. Luckily she was considerate enough not to attempt the song. xP I guessed that got here her deserving title. Kudos to zen for being the prom king too! Then it was venus's apple SUPER high performance. By then i was already dart tired already. I wasnt even sure when the prom officially ended but it sure ended on a high note [since it was high high high for all i know]. Lots of photo taking after that... Calling for people around. After everything, stranded. Oh my.. Am i to pay the mid-night charges again??? Luckily, Berlinda's mom is coming! =) Saved. Was totally tired already. Remembered that was stuck there in swisshotel for a long long time. Then we eventually landed ourselves besides Singapore river. Was a really nice place. Remembered that the sky was really clear. So clear that i believe that a shooting star can be seen if there's one. Was a starry starry night.. Must constantly keep myself awake. "Screaming" [the loudest i can go then.. which is not very loud] songs to keep myself awake.. After some time, Berlinda's mom finally came and we pack ourselves into the toyota wish. Found one really nice cushion there. I swear i could had fallen asleep if not for my contacts in the eye. Apparently, i got 2 trial lens from my optician. I wore the 1st pair on the very day i got it to learn how to put in the contacts [which took me ages since i got shaky hands]. Then i wore the next pair on prom. Hence i am not very used to the feeling. But it's sure amazing. I have not enjoyed clear vision without specs since K2. Yet, it feels like you got lots of stuff in your eye and not blinking will result in vision getting increasing blur. Thus i habitually tried to push up my specs which is not there. Haha. Quite comical.

 

Yea. That's about all for prom. As for the song, it all sprouted from my thought of doing up a song as a memory trip. I have the habit of linking songs with events and people.. Hence i thought that if can create a song that can resonate with the targeted audience, it will be really great. Sadly i got zero idea how to come up with music. So R&D revived. The last product of R&D was the V.day mini bottle.. which these two ignorant dudes missed out the point that the ink dissolves in the organic oil. Now, we [actually just daniel] is doing something he is good at. Music. But i got to say that we are all greenhorn when it comes to composing. So i just sat by the com/piano at daniel's place, popping in comments that the next note should be higher or lower, number of syllabus should increase or decrease, should be more emo or not, and other non-musical stuff. I got to say the process was really interesting though tiring. 2 totally clueless dudes, trying to figure out which part of the song should be composed first. So the supposing intro appeared first. Not too bad. Then apparently, daniel seemed to be quite a happy mood [i wonder what happened] that day hence the tunes were all rather happy. Later the mood set in and then verse 1 appeared. Totally sad [relative to intro]. Yet we let be. When it comes to chorus, we were stumped again. Choruses of pop songs kept intercepting our thoughts to the point that we thought: why not just a rojak of the choruses of those songs. But we didnt progress far. Soon, we were stuck again. After that, i suggested that we make the intro more emo and fit it into the chorus. Daniel did the job and it turned out fine. Hence our intro became the chorus. LOL. And daniel did up the rest. As for the lyrics, i already got the contents i want to fill in my head already. Penning it down and brainstormed with daniel, the contents for each verse and chorus were lied out. Counting the number of syllabus and fitting in the lyrics of the content was fun. Most were manageable and comes naturally. Till the chorus. Due to more unique rhythm, fitting in of lyrics was totally hard. That got us stuck all the way to jinghui's house. Things eventually turn out better and there we got our final product. =)

Here we go..

Intro: 大家好! 我们是.. R&D, Roy & Daniel! 这首歌叫还记得, 由 Roy主唱, 我编曲。有什么不好之处, 希望大家多多包含。Alright, 3.. 2.. 1..
六年前首次踏入校园
有一种叫做家的感觉
还记得D&T 和Home Economics
也记得被 psycho 进了 DHP (just kidding!)
从新被分到不同的班级
school life 也变得更interesting
还记得classroom painting 和Mrs Bok 的直升机
隔壁班在mug 时我们去 party!
如今毕业了 心却还舍不得
怀念一起唱校歌
食堂画面印象深刻
如今毕业了 就算我们分离
德明永远 是我一生难忘 的回忆
senior high 的school life 有够hectic
天天飞去ghim moh 不容易
有scholarship 的high tea 还有难pass 的GP
回想起那PW 还挺有趣
如今毕业了 心却还舍不得
怀念一起唱校歌
食堂画面映像深刻
如今毕业了 就算我们分离
德明永远 是我一生难忘 的回忆
虽然毕业了 诚心勇忠我牢记
一切已深深刻在 我心里

the song's available at danz' blog =)

 

as for photos, i will post them up all together. =)

Sorry for the really lengthy and wordy post..

 

Rest well world!

 

日复一日无聊的生活

cold..

i feel terrible..

cold limbs..

 

pressured at the chest..

 

like "Roy Tan Jun Yi" appeared in the deathnote....

 

 

on a positive note, it all ends tomorrow....

thinking through again... not exactly positive...

 

each time i submit the paper [or when they take it away form me], it feels as though my fate is sealed within that very booklet...

 

 

gee.. why emo now? there is still tomorrow... and there is still tomorrow after tomorrow.. and so on.. or at least i hope...
life goes on.. living in a non-living world.. i mean the world is a non-living thing right? Govern by justice named by time.. Well, living is a challenge.

 

Alright. Positive positive!!  Challenges make life exciting! =)

Shall enjoy the imperfection of life till eventually the sand in the hourglass runs out... =)

 

 

Ah! Rain.. You filled the day with a sorrowful tune..

 

All ends spells a new beginning right?

雨后的彩虹..是真实还是梦...

 

 

当一切还是个未知数.. 那就让沉默代替所有回答吧...

 

 

Back to my bio mcq practices.......

 

 

 

一次缘份结一次绳 我今生还在等  
一世 就只能有一次的 认真 

那年宁静的海

~sorry.. not a person who can really appreciate mtvs.. xP but just listen to the song..

那时我们天天在一起
太幸福到不需要距离
很贪心 要全世界注意
只是太年轻
快乐和伤心
都像在演戏
一碰就惊天动地
今天 看你
昨天的你去了哪里
那年夏天我和你躲在
这一大片宁静的海
直到后来我们都还在
对这个世界充满期待
今年冬天你已经不在
我的心空出了一块
很高兴遇见你
让我终究明白
回忆 你真是精彩
还记得一起努力
还有那些 一言为定
现在我就当过去是种学习
虽然好不容易
那年夏天宁静的海

 

really nice song.. =)
sit at the breakwater and listen to this song.. AH!
emo.. yupz..

 

the 31 days to come..

 

jiayouz everyone.. we got an A levels to ACE!

non-living..

gee.. i feel as though i am as good as dead. Yes. There is like no meaning in my life now.. I feel so empty. I need to do something about it i guess. I shouldnt be doing things just to use up time.

Yes. In other words, i am wasting my life away. I guess mom is right. I should not be chionging and "playing" [something i tried doing but failed totally] the whole day round but do something more constructive. She's definitely right about the cliche phrase of "time wasted never returns". But as an impulsive naive teen, i will still get all flustered when i hears that, though screaming "THAT'S RIGHT!" deep within. Sometimes the body and the mind just dont agree to each other huh? Shucks...

Reminds me of Lu老师's acc lesson about chinese teachings. I forgot the actual numerical digit but the saying goes like when one is young, he cant tell what's right or what's wrong. 10 years later, he start to be able to tell what's right and what's wrong but cant resist the wrong doings at times. After another 10 years, he can tell what's wrong and choose to do the right things though still faces some internal struggle when deciding. Upon hitting an old age, he can finally choose to do the right things without any internal struggle. Wow.. that's a lot of words. Hence chinese characters are more elegant at times huh? So i guess i stand at the forefront noob stage..

well... Is this what's called a mood swing? Gee.. Why was i still a cheery a moment ago and now i am all tired and feeling faint.. Perhaps i am tired..

I hope so....

 

 

Anyway.. anyone for mugging tomorrow?

 

Call me a damper ba.. but i am creasing to exist.. i need to do something..

 

i doubt i will get any response in time.. haha.. just thinking aloud..

 

isnt that the point of a blog? =)

 

 

so.. what's the meaning of nothing?
.................................................................................

 

i go no idea at all...

 

~looping jay songs...............

argh.. still quite screwed up..

yes.. the photos are still quite screwed up but better than nothing so aye.. =.= la.. WHAT IS FREAKING WRONG WITH MY UPLOADING.........

 

T.T

 

what a rainy day......

pre-aged..

i hope my genuine shocked expression didnt make me look too retarded from the already retarded face..

yes.. i will like to officially CONGRATS the clique for successfully catching someone off guard for birthday celebration. And yes.. that someone is none other than the retard narrating here. But do hear me out........................................................................ MY BIRTHDAY IS NEXT MONTH!!! Theoretically, no one would have suspected anything right? [that reasons for the shock despite hearing daniel chanting the order of the bday song which ended with a "R".. i nearly blurt out "R? That's for Roy" intending it to be a joke but dismissed that since i thought it would have been quite a cold one.. (but it turned out to be so.. that powered up my level of "
shocked")

To add on to my shock-ness (cant think of any way to express that level of shock), i was still kinda engaged in part of the planning since i got to settle getting our big shot yiwei who had a tight schedule and i raise a slight suspicion about the whole thing proved that the operation was really successful. Personally, i wasnt expecting anything since yea... the date is so near to A levels. It's not right to let your friends trouble over an insignificant increase in the quantified aged. Seriously, as i aged, birthday meant lesser to me. Remembered when i was young, i will look forward to all the presents and stuffs.. Kinda like the more the merrier. But now, i try to look at meaning behind the gifts. Gift hunting is sure tough job. I guess it'll be really hard to hunt for something when one have nothing in mind as to what the person wants. I guess that makes it hard to get me anything since i myself dont know what i want.. hmm.. maybe a new phone? LOL! AH! PSP or PS3.. LOL. But i dont exactly crave for them either. "Nice to have, fine without".

Anyway, backtrack to before the celebration, was playing tennis with kek and danz in school. They left gabriel behind as part of the plot i guess thinking back now. HAHA!! Then we met at just noodle which most people ate rice instead or should i say ice-cream. Jason and danz are crazy enough to suck up about about 18 scoops each. x.X The serving was relatively ok since there's free flow of cold lipid-filled stuffs.. I had my first experiment with the making of floats and it thrills me... see those foams bubbles out of the cup and make a lot of mess "blup blup blup blup!!"  [ok.. this retard here is easily thrilled by little nonsense]

Since we made too much noise and create a real racket at just noodle, we decided to move on to invade some other place. And that place was esplanade rooftop. I had heard many wonderful descriptions of that place but i have never been there till "yesternight". And indeed! It was a wonderful place. Cockroach aside and over-friendly cleaner uncle, the dimly lit atmosphere with the neon-outlines of the buildings and the dark void of the night sky sure makes it a nice place to emo. Cake cutting and scribbling of messages was sure challenging since it was dim. Handphone torches sure came in useful. =) Then yoke san started to "摆摊" and laid out all the presents. And we got a present guessing session which i wanted to guess all of the presents as mine. So at the first present, i immediately said it's mine. And indeed. That got the people a little shocked. HAHA! me and my nonsense.

Here are my presents: [sorry no photos.. too lazy x.X]
- a striped long sleeved shirt
- a set of drawing pencils

i was expecting the pencils since [ok after knowing that my birthday was about to be celebrated] i told jing hui that i thought of buying them. =) THANKZ 大汤哥!! As for the striped shirt, i guess there must had been some random chance to chance upon it ba. HAHA. Mom actually kinda laughed at me since always told her not to buy stripe shirt for me as i though they looked like pyjamas. HAHA! so here is my first striped shirt! Having tried it out, i thought i looked fine with it. The thought of it being from the people close to you and the meaning behind the shirt might have caused my differing opinion to this stripe shirt. =) And the size is perfect.

shall leave the bottom for photos...

From 2008 bday celebration - sept and me!

~people present.. those in uniform came from school.. duh.. =.=

From 2008 bday celebration - sept and me!

~当我还不知所措时....

From 2008 bday celebration - sept and me!

~被拉进来了.. they said me and yiwei like wedding cake cutting ceremony but hey! yiwei represent sept then i must 为 october 的增一点气吧.. ok. just me and my nonsense again.

From 2008 bday celebration - sept and me!

~some serious wishing going on while i stared blankly at the candles.. not accustomed to wishing with a pose for the cam.. haha.. and the light at the back seemed to eat up my hair.

From 2008 bday celebration - sept and me!

~our lovely fruity cake.. dont be fooled my it's relatively cream-less facade. it proved to have enough potential to pose threat to the victims at the esplanade rooftop.

From 2008 bday celebration - sept and me!

~identifying present. LOL! Too bad.. Correct guesses got no bonus and wrong guesses got no penalty.. the top right are my presents! =) aka tat striped rectangular thing and that rectangular thing on top of the popular plastic bag.

 

Since we are near to the F1 racing track, we went down to have some fun. We playfully cheered those trucks which passed by as though they are the one racing. LOL!

From 2008 bday celebration - sept and me!

From 2008 bday celebration - sept and me!

~Jing hui and his trademark hugging action.. it's constricting.. ouch haha! Should see the one with yiwei man.. gosh..

 

 

so THANKZ LOTS FOR THE GIFT and FOR THE TIME AND EFFORT SPENT! Really appreciated it. Looking forward to the most valuable gift which have yet to arrive. The CARDS!! =D It's really a blessing to have close friends as these. Aye.. Part of the emoing on the rooftop includes what lies ahead of us after the end of A levels. Will there still be times as such when we will waste time and make memories together?? Well, we will embark on different journeys [not much variations for the guys i guess], some flying off while those staying will most probably get into different courses. We may not be able to meet at often and go crazy that often, make as much noise as often.. But as long as we hold on proudly to the label of "theclique".. We will survive. =)

 

 

 

so what am i now? 17 or 18? Usually, the birthday is significant only due to the celebrations.. hmm.. it doesnt really matter i guess. It doesnt make me less retarded.. HAHA!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

on a random note,
i am really bored today..

so much so that i thought i could mug..

why.. x.X

please just publish....

damn it.. my live writer is kinda screwed when there are photos involved..

 

WHY CANT I POST ANYTHING!!!!! GGGGGRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....

 

 

 

 

 

now what??????

i am totally lame..

i tried uploading a post filled with photos and it failed to upload.. >.<

 

in the end, i just waste the whole yesternight.. =.=

 

ook.. got to go start some work already...

 

argh.. i need to find my discipline back..

 

help...

shift in equilibrium

Hmm. I feel.. different and kinda weird.. Over-joyed i will say. Yes. I found myself smiling and laughing at everything, anything and nothing. So much so that i find myself quite amusing.

 

I realised that i got this very bad habit of being addicted to mangas during exam periods. I will just go to www.onemanga.com [if you dont already know, this is the site to get almost any english-translated manga you want], and aimlessly click on one series of manga and chiong from chapter one all the way to the latest chapter and get bored again. Then i go conquer another series. This is seriously a really dangerous bad habit and now i am still facing the drawback symptoms. x.X But i got to say that i chanced upon this very very nice manga!!!

HERE IS THE LINK: http://www.onemanga.com/Tsubasa_Reservoir_Chronicles/

Yupz!! Here is a very short intro [which doesnt really capture anything nice about the manga actually since it is so brief but nonetheless...]:

Sakura and Syaoran return, but they're not the people you know. Sakura is the princess of Clow - and possessor of a mysterious, misunderstood power that promises to change the world. Syaoran is her childhood friend and leader of the archaeological dig that took his father's life. They reside in an alternate reality... where whatever you least expect can happen - and does. When Sakura ventures to the dig site to declare her love for Syaoran, a puzzling symbol is uncovered - which triggers a remarkable quest. Now Syaoran embarks upon a desperate journey through other worlds-all in the name of saving Sakura.

Lots of really interesting themes and surprising twists, making the whole manga very pleasant and "sweet" to read. I got to say that the drawing is relatively good but it's the great storyline that pushes the reader on. =) Hmm. I guess there are not much manga-crazed guys, like me, in the people around me but do give this manga a go [if you have the time - perhaps after prelims/As?]. There are interesting themes about life/fate/love/etc if you get what i mean [those more philosophical stuff]. I guess that's why i love mangas, a platform where themes about friendship, love, etc can be infused with the fantasy and nice illustration. What's more about this manga is that it doesnt contain "ecchi" stuffs. [for those who know not that "ecchi" means, it meant suggestive [sexual] content] Most mangas now contain a little of such stuffs here and there to gain getter readership i guess. In fact, i dont think this is a unique trend in just mangas but i believe in novels as well. Perhaps there is an increasing trend of demand for perverted stuffs? LOLLER.. Alright. This is a little off topic... [even one piece, naruto, bleach contain a little of those stuffs!!] Yet, dont condemn manga just yet. Those stuffs are really not the focus, or rather, they should not be.. haha..

HERE IS A PAGE of tsubasa reservoir:

 
~hmm.. not exactly very happy expressions but aye.. nice manga =)

 

Ah! Having said so much, back to the issue about change.. I seriously wonder if there is anyone out there who is enjoying exams? Because this crazy guy right here is kinda enjoying it. It is not like i find the paper really easy or what [actually, it's the very very opposite], but i find myself getting really excited and happy about the exams!! So much so that i cannot comprehend it myself. =S I found myself going into the exam hall wanting to enjoy the paper. Gosh! HAhaha.. It kinda freaks me out but i feel so. Like i was telling danz, prelims is too near a future to be altered. I guess the only possible thing to be changed is A levels. Aye. Like i was saying, prelims is the last time that i can "postpone" good results. I thought that this form of expression is so apt. What i am trying to express is that when it was common test, i remembered saying that i must ace it. Results? Flopped. Really BADLY. So now was like.. Ok, now prelims must ACE! But then again, judging on the current situation, a little "errrr...". Yea. Familiar to you? So finally, A level will come. Hopefully, there will no longer be any "postponing" of good results.

 

As the days rolled by, and continue to roll pass, i suddenly [no idea since when] felt that "the end is drawing nearer". I am not exactly sure if i express it correctly because i am not sure myself. I am not exactly sure what "the end" refers too as well. Then the sudden "over-happiness" possessed me. Lots of laughter, lots of smiles. Well, it's not exactly bad but just feel different. As though some part of me snapped [like go bonkers]. I started doing crazy things... The day after maths paper 2 [which is the day before yesterday], reached home when no one's at home. I ran around [no one at home to see this crazy me] the house doing household chores happily [to prevent myself from using the computer - since i dont want to study, might as well do some useful stuffs]. Vacuumed and mopped the floor, washed up the plates, cleaned two toilets and do the laundries. No one realised what i did but it still felt great. Aye, it is time that i do more useful things other than getting nowhere despite focusing on studies. Come to think of it, schooling will officially end this year huh? I wonder if i am ready for what's to come...

 

I want to be able to support myself after i step out of JC and i wonder how i can go about doing it. I want to be independent enough and take up more responsibilities but i wonder if i am up to it or not. Yea. I got to start now. Perhaps, wash my own clothes, help with household chores, and take charge of my own life. To a certain extend, i wonder if this will result in me drifting off to be a loner, which i guess certain aspect of me inspire to be.. Doing everything by myself. I hope not. The future will bring what's to come. =) Hope that i can grow and mature in the right way, on the right path, in the right direction..

 

Quite desperate to source for a substitute for manga reading. Hence took on drawing. =) Someday i shall ran around the place with a painting kit and paint.. Someday.. Perhaps when i retire? Wow, that seemed like long time huh? I wonder if i will live even till then. Haha. Yes. Live each day meaningfully. Realised the power of a smile is really amazing. Realised that at the start of the year but forgot about this and was recently reminded again. Yes, i guess it's really nice that it's something contagious. Yet again, there are many types of smiles.. Check tsubasa.. It takes people close to you to figure out your true feelings which at times, you yourself cant decipher.

 

Yea.

 

Enjoy this beautifully sucky life!

 

=)

thankz!!

many thankz to jing hui for helping me with the layout.. =)

 

 

i really should be mugging.. ARGH!!! i am possessed...

time flies when your are having fun...

If that is absolutely true, tests and mugging are the most enjoyable things on EARTH till date for me...






what a random sms i got.. LOL!


Yes, i love you too.. [fret not, this "you" is a guy.... but to a certain extend, it is more worrying huh?]



GOSH! Day one had pass.. 4 more days till end of holidays [weekends are non-school days so not counted]...




AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally done...

after so long, i have finally finish up my photos collection and the write up. The write up isnt hard because i already have in mind what i want to write about. Since fitting into the word limit is really hard, i just chose to simple discard that rule. xP

*****
bad karaoke going on here..

*****

i really should be mugging now considering that i have went out the whole morning and spent the rest of the time till now doing the collage.. But got to share this relieved state of mine.. HAHAHA..

Due to lack of time, i shall leave the many words about last day of school / teachers' day / nerds' photo-spree day till a later time [when i get bored of mugging i suppose]..

Here are the collages... =)

Yea.. i know what you are thinking and i agree with you: "Roy, you are one greedy boy!" Being a perfectionist, i cannot bear to remove many photos and it took me great pain to remove many others since they cannot fit in. I know that the pictures will appear small but i think that it's fine. Haha..

and my write up goes like this:

"Life is like a piece of painting. Everyone started off as careless, amateur artists, experimenting different techniques on a fresh sheet of paper. Some were born with better sets of tools to start with, some born with less. Through the process of life, we acquire new tools to work with. Some useful, some not; some even harmful. Yet this is not just another simple piece of art, this painting of life is unique and permanent; it is irreversible. As we grow older, we become more experienced and also make fewer mistakes due to carelessness, but we can only minimize errors, not remove them. Hence, redecorate the faults and be proud of them, for they are necessary for growth; remember as well, never to make the same mistake twice… Thus I am really grateful to DHSfor providing such a wonderful environment filled with caring teachers and friends, presenting me with a whole array of tools to colour up my life. A big and sincere “THANK YOU” and I hope “今日我以德明为奥，他日德明以我为荣”. "

That's 188 words if you are wondering. More than triple of the limit. Since i give one less picture, there should be more space for me right? i shall stick to that assumption. =D Anyway, this is the simplified version of my analogy of life. Shall save up the more "chim" version. Special thanks to Daniel Tey Jun Yan for helping me with my expression.

Dinner is calling. Books are calling. Got to go.. It's a pity that the tagboard died along with the stuff at the side. There is a comment tab at the end of each post after the date and time. If you happen to be here and feel like commenting, sorry to trouble you with all the pop ups..

With that, happy mugging to all...

My same old phrase: TAKE CARE, REST WELL!

=)

***********************

live writer screwed up.. wasted so much time posting using blogger.. x.X

***********************

i wish upon a rainbow...

to STOP being so CARELESS!!!!

just tried the inkblog thing.. haha. quite fun. but it does allow me to edit it on live writer.. guess i shall not use it..

school's reopening and closing in a week..

and after a short break

it reopens with PRELIMS!!!

till then..

...STAY VERY ALIVE...

*****************************************************************************

and in the name of carelessness, i just screwed up my blog layout.

=.=||||

now it is without anything at the side..

...time to sleep...

Thanks all for the photos!!

Was rather fun looking through photos sia..

much like time travelling..

photos capture time.. =)

to danz: where is the jay chou you promised??

烟火的季节

Alright. I got about 10 mins to spare before i hop back into my bed. Have been sleeping a lot today. Nice blanket to counter the cold weather.

 

Guess most must have heard of it: FIREWORKS DISPLAY AT MARINA BAY!!! It was a rather relaxing Friday evening. Help Zen with his art piece for a while till it started to rain. So the three of us [danz, zen and i] went to seek shelter, where kek had conveniently detoured to, claiming that he had good instinct that it was going to rain. Actually all of us knew that it was about to rain, or rather, it was already raining, only that the rain was going to get heavier. Now that we were in the middle of no where, and i dont feel like mugging, suggested that we kap 2 guitars from guitar room and we did. So me and danz were playing it at the staircase [dont know how to describe that place].

Danz provided the music and i contributed the noise but we did enjoyed ourselves very much. I got to agree that there is some ambience there making such stuff enjoyable. The fast paced kek wasnt enjoying the slacking as the two of us, constantly complaining that we should chiong to marina bay, yet we were two persistent worms which continued to wriggle around the place. Ah yea. thanks ivy, yokesan and amelia for carrying my stuff out from the container clz room and ester, grace and one more junior [short term memo cannot recall] for waiting for us to return the guitars.

 

Just as we were to leave, we met the clique members who planned to go enjoy the fireworks too. With impatient kek, who swore not to mix with the rate determining us, we eventually split and meet and then split again. split as we left for the bus stop, meet at the bus stop and semi split there and eventually split completely upon reaching marina bay. Us guys were making singing our lungs our at the back of 111. Hope we didnt make much of a din.

 

Packet our dinner at BK and left for esplanade after being convinced that there is no place for us at the food republic. Constantly caught in a dilemma whether to stay or to move, i am really glad that we are fortunate enough to secure a great place. There was this picky indian man whom i thought was rather anti-climax. Junjie knocked into him accidentally and he corroded us with sarcasms. Firstly, it was totally unintentional and secondly, we apologised. >.< I guess it must be due to the long wait ba and he got impatient? Shrugs. I really despise those smokers though. I seriously hope that they can try to be more considerate and leave smoking to a later time sia.

 

927pm. The magic began. Totally breathe-taking. I dont think even a video can fully describe that feeling. It totally absorbed me. I dont know how to elaborate. If you want to feel it, there is still tomorrow. Aye.

 

Time to sleep.

 

Looking forward to danz' video....

后视镜里的世界

Tired. Well, not something unique. Just reach home after fetching sis whose lesson ended at 7 plus going 8. Tired as i am, i find myself unable to sleep whenever i am seated beside the driver. Name it as some sense of responsibility; feel that sleeping beside the driver may make the driver sleepy too, yea.. so usually dont sleep when sitting in front..

 

*****

ah crap.. vista service pack update took up so much of my time.. shall go sleep now.. aye.. since no one check this place, i shall repost this later.. =)

nitez world!!

*****

yea.. making back entries are really hard considering the lost in that "current" feel. So staying awake and staring out of the window from the front site is really thought provoking. Usually i will suggest that we open the window cuz i like the wind. But then, since the highway was plagued with large vehicles and buses from Malaysia which puke black fumes, we turn on the air-condition instead. Due to internal refraction, you then to be able to see certain part of you reflected on the side window. Alright. So it is not exactly 后视镜 but the idea is there lo. 3 angles of views: one from your eyes, one from the left side-mirror and one from the refraction. Aye. Many angles of views. The same applies for life too huh? Yet we then to see only from what we immediately see. [too bad there isnt a term for a higher level of seeing (e.g. : hear vs listen), observe sounds wrong here]

 

So while we advance with faster pace of life, we accelerate in the direction we think best benefit us. Yet have we notice if we are leaving anything behind? Perhaps limiting the scope to something nearer to me, while us youth continue in life, mature in our own ways. What do we leave behind in the trade off to pursue something that we think will make us grown ups? Well, there can be lots of stuffs, good or bad. We will have to leave those thumb sucking or nail biting habits in the pass. Yet do we at the same time, while emptying those childish load on our trucks, allow things which falsely make us adults to burden us? Are we ready for it?

 

We sought more freedom. Less control from parents. We want things our way. Hot blooded and constantly striving.Despite quietly in our hearts acknowledging that they meant good, the various curfews and teachings are just strings bounding us to earth and limiting our flight. We want to break free. Some of us succeeded totally, some partially. To a certain extent [i must remember to spell this word correctly], we do gain certain amount to space, no matter how little, as we age. Now looking back, with the various "if i had.." flashing through my mind, things might have been a lot different, and the previously irritating suggestions [though will still sound as irritating if they were to be said again] seem to make more sense then they previously would.

 

Thus we passively distant from our family as our solidifying wings scream to soar. Soar to our ambitions, our cliques, our hobbies and our lifestyle. Looking back, where are those merry times when there will be family outings to the zoo where those little hands will be hidden in those once smooth-skin hands, leading the little childish and undeveloped mind around the enclosures? Now, the once smooth-skin hands were scarred by wrinkles. The once stumpy cute fingers now clasp those once gigantic ones. We have grown while they have aged. Our perspective widen while theirs seem to shrink. We disagree more often and yet we know they will always be our side...

 

I got to say that i have failed to take good care of myself. A problem with a mental will stronger than the physical body. While selfishly thinking i carry the burden of a weak body plagued with various rubbish problems by myself, it is the "kapo" [kay-po] or rather the cant-care-less attitude that stress the parents. Personally, i see no reason for this stress but i guess that's the "mental" link between the child's problems and that of the parents. And more often than not, it goes one way.

 

So while we drink alcoholic drinks or buy 4D when the midnight clock strikes 12 to our birthday, while we stick our tongue into and get a taste of new stuffs such as romance [err.. i havent and dont plan to yet], we should always remember that no matter how much we mature, how much we morph and get adult-like, our bodies are not ours alone [despite conveniently assuming so most of the time]. This brings back Mr Sng's quote on morning's talk about discipline: for every freedom granted, it's attached with responsibility. Thus while we are granted with more freedom to do what we like [going out till the late night, burning midnight oil to mug, binge junk food], we have the responsibility to take good care of ourselves, both emotionally and physically.

 

wow, having said or typed rather so much. Time to dive back into the pile of homework. Shall pray hard that rain stop so can bring family to watch fireworks.. Shall post the post when i am free. =)

 

Yea. All in all, TAKE GOOD CARE OF OURSELVES and reflect on the things we are leaving behind as we pursuit our ideals. =)

 

 

MUG ON!!!

 

 

 

*现在说会不会太迟
你会不会笑我还是多像孩子~

value time.. both pass and present..

despite thinking over this issues frequently, i dont think i mention anything like this here huh? Well, perhaps i did but never mind, shall do it again [if i did].

 

******
on the side note, i dont think many people, if any will be visiting this site so i decided make posting something here as some form of bedtime activity... since the doc ask me not to do anything taxing to the mind before i sleep. This is not too taxing i suppose.. HAHA..

******

 

Well, this topic resurfaced when i was mugging with XinZi after school, or rather, after GP paper 2. I guess most of us would have thought through this same issue many times, especially at times when we feel that we could have do something better if we have a 2nd chance. But sadly, we do not have such a luxury. And even if we were given a second chance, it doesnt erase the fact that we had used up the first. Thus it does seem ideal to turn back the clock and do the necessary changes huh? Yet personally, i do not think that the issue is as simple as that of drawing with pencil and eraser; erase the errors and redraw..

 

I see the past as necessary. We need the pass experience to learn and finally come to a conclusion [whether immediate or after some thought] that this way of handling the issue is apt or not. If not, how then do we come to regret what we have done or what we have chose to do? So does going back to the past and altering it means losing that valuable lesson learnt? If it's so, then i think the trade off is not worth it. More often than not, we tend to insist on our own ways till the result is felt and only then do we learn to regret. Seems like "feeling is believing" huh?

 

OK! The drug is getting the better of me now. Guess i got lots of sweeping statements in the above argument but at least i am quite sure my stand is clear. Hence value time, past, present and even, future. Treasure the memories of the past, the mundane routine of the present and emo about the supposing ideal future..  All in all, be forward looking and move on, disturb not but be comforted that you have the debris of the pass mistakes to cushion your next fall. Let's not be caught by how i should have better done it or rather how can i better get it done the next time.

 

yupz! the ability to manipulate time.? Cool! But simply too complex and dangerous for individuals to handle.. well, for me at least. looking back, imagine like if you step out of school later than usual, the people you meet will change accordingly.. in fact, everything changed.. Guess that's the little fun we get in life huh?

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Time trial for chem students tomorrow!!! 加油！Ah.. about 3 more weeks to prelims.. NONO!! i am not exactly confident yet. >.<

 

alright.. to  crawl back into my bed.. perhaps ligands will be tonight's dream topic?  Quite interesting.. I hope =)

complexity

yea.. a splinter in my mind . Have been thinking of many issues after being prompted by GP, these thoughts usually just stay as thoughts. Overwhelming of homework sure make appearing offline much more difficult than being really offline [as in not signed in].. Having looked high and low, seem like the Internet is still the best place to air such random thoughts to a random group of people who is lame or bored enough to find the way here..

 

yes yes.. life is indeed highly complex. Any gp student, in other words, all JC student are aware of the highly complex intertwining network of terms such as politics, technology, economics, education, social concerns. I thought that the reaction is kinda explosive. As the gaze follow down the question, for example: should politics [big bang one] ever mix with religion [BOOM!!].. alright, was thinking in a more animated version and the random question that i came up with should not appear in A levels ba.. I hope..

 

shall save those mind churning stuffs to the subsequent time. seem like the drug is taking effect.. kinda groggy now.. the thought of GOOD QUALITY SLEEP really excites me.. excited to know if that half a pill can grant me the wonderful rest i have been longing for.

 

Stress.. what a convenient word to answer every student related illness... but having frequent mind juicing headache seriously seriously *curse*...

 

OH! that roy who was desperate to blog is not me lo.. and i know the culpritS who did that [right in front of my face too..]

 

thanks for all supporters to help clear the cobweb.. now that my com is functional with windows live writer, i guess i will post more stuffs soon..

 

=) 加油 everyone!!!

 

 

 

 

 

~this poor chap needs 70 bucks... T.T lolz

放任无奈淹没尘埃...

it had been days since i last TOUCH the com..

did a drastic move to divorce my lovely wife.. Reformated and batt unplugged.. now she lies there at a side in my room..

if not for being here at danz house to wait for him to set off for kevin's belated bday celeb, i guess this post wont have appeared. Well, now danz is waiting. Gee, he is faster than i thought..


my life ended after CT.. despite most feeling liberated after CT, i just got more and more worried after each paper.. Gee, this standard is getting me negative place in med course sia.. i kinda even wonder if that approx 16weeks is sufficient for me to catch up.. x.X

Think less, act more.. i meant MUG more..

went to the PSC fair.. 3 scholarships available for med students.. All impossible for me.. Guess i got to just get in 1st then see how ba..

Aye, get in FIRST..

that seemed as impossible as getting straight As.. or should i say it is only possible if i can get straight As.. >.<





Ah! i will make it.. I CAN DO IT [must psycho myself a little]..



那一餐我请定了! =)




Well, this is most probably the last of me in 16weeks.. i have died after CT.. and will revive after As.. thought it is only responsible to post this post despite there being very little viewers.. so aye, one less blog to read.. save up time to mug too!!


the imba guitar player there just reminded me that we are running late and INDEED.. so byeZ!






GOOD LUCK TO ALL MUGGERS OUT THERE!! WILL THE MUGGING SPIRIT NEVER DIES IN YOU!!




a takeaway from NPCC after the 4 years:
if you cant do what you like, learn to like what you do... =)



HAPPY MUGGING!

delta..

 

I
got
to change...

 

Be more focus..

 

and just mug..

 

hence,

i changed..

 

my hair..
reduce those dark things sprouting out of my head..
reduced to almost nothing..
this must be the time when i removed most hair in a single cut..
well, it doesn't really matters anyway..
"cut botak, nice to rub while i mug =)"
rhythms huh?

 

and surprisingly, others changed too..

 

my skin...
after the shower to get rid of those reluctant bits of hair hidden in my pokey bush, i realised that i'm peeling.
after so many days, it started to peel today..
hmm.. a great change..

 

was really glad that i kept my laptop yesterday..
no more laptop till night for now..
it really amaze me how much time i can spend just doing nothing on the com...
it amaze me so much that i got fearful of it...

 

NO MORE COM TILL NIGHT!

 

and what will change after tonight..

 

the moon..
tonight will be the last day of full moon..
she just appeared..
unlike yesterday, there was no orange/reddish hue..
perhaps a change for the better?
nonetheless, just staring at the bright moon brings satisfaction to this emo kid..
shrugs.. i must be abnormal.. xP

 

dawn wasnt as gentle..
it was fiery red.. so much so that i felt uneasy about it..
and to my surprise, just as i was about to air my thoughts, in came a phone call..
my grandmother fell and was in the operation room since 1 plus till just now was she wheeled out..

 

looking forward to tomorrow..
after so long and it had been so long since i last went for buddy day and finally, saturday's here..
well, i still had lots of revision awaiting me...
surprising.......................OH!!!!!

 

OH MY!! gee!! i am indeed lucky today!! Look.. [pardon my bad angle, got to quickly put up a stand and set to self timer mode and turn off flash and take the photo..pant pant]

~the beautiful moon and a bright star.. accompanied with a jet stream.. it was really beautiful, even now after the stream disperse.. i shall go for shot 2..

~alright.. too bad.. it cant be captured.. T.T but still nice to look at. i guess other people at other areas may not be able to see it as such due to different angles.. haha.. cant share the joy lo..

 

oppz. pardon this sky-obsessed boy.. i wonder if there are other people as crazy as this boy.. haha..

 

ok.. what i want to say that was surprising was i kinda READ through organic chem.. I got to say that i am surprise at my own speed..

 

yet to start on bio..

 

stay positive, positive, positive.. darn, this brainwashing isnt really working out well.. well, shall sleep on it..

 

go part 2 on diary.. =)

 

jiayouz to all muggers beneath this beautiful moonlight..

 

nice song here.. love the high part of the chorus..
ill be lovin u forever - westlife

WESTLIFE LYRICS
"Forever"
[All:]
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever,
[Bryan:]
You are the sun,
You are my light,
And you're the last thing on my mind,
Before I go to sleep at night,
You're always round,
When I'm in need,
When trouble's on my mind,
You put my soul at ease,
There is no one in this world,
Who can love me like you do,
That is the reason that I,
Wanna spend forever with you,
[All:]
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever,
[Shane:]
We've had our fun,
We've made mistakes,
But who'd have guessed along that road,
We'd learn to give and take,
It's so much more than I could have dreamed,
Cause you make loving you, so easy for me,
There is no one in this world,
Who can love me like you do,
That is the reason that I,
Wanna spend forever with you,
[All:]
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever,
[Shane:]
And girl I pray you leave me, never,
[Mark:]
Cause this is the world, where lovers often go astray,
But if we love each other, we won't go that way,
So put your doubts aside,
Do what it takes to make it right,
I love you, forever, no-one can tear us apart,
[All: (Mark:)]
I'll be loving you forever, (forever)
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart, (took my heart girl)
And tore it apart, (you tore it apart now)
I would love you still, forever,
And I'll be loving you forever, (forever)
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart, (you took my heart girl)
And tore it apart, (you tore it apart now)
I would love you still, forever,
I'll be loving you forever,
Deep inside my heart you leave me never,
Even if you took my heart,
And tore it apart,
I would love you still, forever

outburst.. nice song!

 

thanks chinyang!! =) had been longing to "know" this song.. Always hear it here and there and was like "hey! it's THAT nice song".. haha..

 

万芳 - 新不了情
心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝
这一份情永远难了
原来时还能再度拥抱
爱你的人如何死守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
愿难了情难了

 

nice nice nice...

 

pity the moon is shrouded by the blanket of clouds..

 

 

~今夜的我终于明了*

nostalgic..

 

nostalgic.. listening to the very same song found in the movie:endless waltz  which draws the gundam wing series to a close.

 

Last Impression - two mix

kotoba yori wakariaeru
manazashi ga soko ni areba
hito wa minna ikite-yukeru...
mayowazu ni jiyuu ni
ayamachi wo koete
kidzuku hontou no yasashisa
anata to mitsuketa kara
ai to yoberu tsuyosa wo...!!
I believe your love
furue nagara
kuchidzuke ni kasaneta negai
("anata" ga ite... "watashi" ga iru...)
wasurenaide itsumo...
I believe your dream
tsunoru omoi...
itoshisa wo inori ni kaete
kono kodou wo tsutaetai yo
atsuku hageshiku...
so far away
[Instrumental]
arasoiau dake ja
erarenai dare mo... nani mo
osanai te ni sashinobetai...
kegare no nai tokimeki wo
odayaka ni toki wo
kizamu komorebi no nukumori...
daremo ga idakaretai
zutto kitto eien ni...!!
I believe your love
akiramenai...
kizutsuita tsubasa hirogete
habataku sora kagiri no nai
yume wo egaku haruka...
I believe your dream
egao misete...
setsunasa ga afuredashite mo
kakegaenai ima wo itsuka
hokoritai kara...
So far away
[Instrumental]
ayamachi wo koete
kidzuku hontou no yasashisa
anata to mitsuketa kara
ai to yoberu tsuyosa wo...!!
I believe your love
furue nagara
kuchidzuke ni kasaneta negai
("anata" ga ite... "watashi" ga iru...)
wasurenaide itsumo...
I believe your dream
tsunoru omoi...
itoshisa wo inori ni kaete
kono kodou wo tsutaetai yo
atsuku hageshiku...
so far away
[Instrumental]
daiji na hito no tame ni
nagasu namida... itami ga...
sekai wo tsuranuki daichi wo nurasu...
kono kanashimi wo tometai!!
[Instrumental]
I believe your love
akiramenai...
kizutsuita tsubasa hirogete
habataku sora kagiri no nai
yume wo egaku haruka...
I believe your dream
egao misete...
setsunasa ga afuredashite mo
kakegaenai ima wo itsuka
hokoritai kara...
I believe your love
furue nagara
kuchidzuke ni kasaneta negai
("anata" ga ite... "watashi" ga iru...)
wasurenaide itsumo...
I believe your dream
tsunoru omoi...
itoshisa wo inori ni kaete
kono kodou wo tsutaetai yo
atsuku hageshiku...
so far away

 

If there are glances that communicate
Better than words,
People can all live on freely
Without losing their way.
Overcoming our mistakes, we realise
What true kindness is.
Together, you and I discovered
That strength called love.
I BELIEVE YOUR LOVE
Trembling, we seal our wish
With a sweet kiss.
(You are here ...
So am I ...)
Please don't ever forget.
I BELIEVE YOUR DREAM
A feeling that intensifies,
Turning affection into a prayer.
I want to let you know this pulsing sensation
So hot, so fierce, SO FAR AWAY
Strife alone can never achieve,
Not for anyone, for anything,
This pure rhythm that I want to pass along
To a young and innocent hand.
The warmth of the sun shone through clusters of leaves
Steadily marks the passage of time.
This surely is what everyone wants to hold onto
Forever and ever.
*** I BELIEVE YOUR LOVE
Never give up.
Stretch out your wounded wings.
Soaring up to the sky,
You sketch an infinite dream
So faraway ...
I BELIEVE YOUR DREAM
Show your smiling face
Even though you are drowned by sorrow,
If someday you want to be proud of
This irreplaceable present.
SO FAR AWAY
The pain of tears shed
For an important person
Spears through the earth,
Drenches the land.
This is a sorrow I want to put to an end.

 

cant really find a nice video so didnt post here.. like all other anime OST, there's more than just the song played when one hears theses songs. More of the clips tagged onto the melody, the animations.. aye, these made the song much colourful than what it merely sounds..

 

argh. still stuck on maths.. shall move on to chem soon.. 2 more days and end of holidays.. T.T

 

i fear the up coming days.. I havent write my testimonial!!! [not like i got much to write... =.=]

 

*curse*

 

end of slacking and outburst.. back to mugging and rotting at home..

 

~掩饰不了我的笨拙
就连说话都会颤抖*

till i have the time,

i will blog...

 

too much things, too little time..
[时间已将我掩埋!!!! ARGH!!!]

 

GOOD LUCK and ALL THE BEST to those who are equally or more screwed than me [which i doubt there is] in terms of revision...

 

going out for blood test soon.. sigh.. hmm.. health 1st..

 

mug mug mug for now!!!

加油z!

Running and/or chasing...

 

Ah.. My last day helping out at SCAS. Finally I will get full days for revision. As to revision, i am rather seriously screwed. One and a half weeks left and i have only finish revision for econs [h1] and near half of physics. ARGH!!! Had be really busy all these times, CIP till lunch and sometimes till about 3.. It was sure tiring but meaningful. Since i was there doing anything which i am of help, usually typing, i have time to plug in to my MP3 player and just let my thoughts wonder. Hence i thought through lots of stuffs. But at times frequently, the thought of the up coming CT will set in and it seriously makes my heart race. Much like reflex. Yet i dont know why but i just feels satisfied and great that i was of help [though i am kinda screwed up here].

 

Didnt have time to blog too.. so here is a little update..

 

**********

The day before yesterday: 08/06/2008 - younger sis's bday..

 

Things were rather similar till afternoon: woke up 7am and started on physics and it lasted me all the way to afternoon and beyond. Despite it being overcast outside, younger sis insisted that we go for a picnic. So i was like, "ok, then what if it rain (inside: SURE RAIN DE!)." Though we kept asking about this question, she insisted that it will not rain, so at about 3 plus, we made our way to pasir ris park. The initial plan was us cycling there but since it was threatening to rain, mom suggested that we bring our rollerblades there instead, which we did. Well, it had been YEARs since i last blade, nonetheless, i like rollerblading, just unsure if i could even get moving.

 

Much of it was unfounded since firstly, i am not that good in the past to speak of and secondly, i did manage to move rather well. =) So i brought younger sis for a round around the park. *realised my elder sis is not very competent in terms of camera handling.. hmm.. but quite good at taking candid shots..

~strapping up. trying to squeeze into the same hand guard i wore when i was in like primary school [they came in a set with the old pair of blades].. and they still fit [though bursting].. wonder what i was chanting then..

~posing before standing up..

~and before setting off..

 

In the end, we were crawling slowly, or slower than the walking speed as my elder sis phrased it. Well, it cant be helped since i am following my younger sis and i got to stay behind her to alert her of the traffic [it's a sunday]. There were also some quite challenging places [those bridges linking the parks together] where slopes are rather tall and steep. Like my contented younger sis puts it, "i came down in one good piece. *beam*" Upon going back to where we started, sis retired, claiming that her legs are hurting already. Since i was tailing my younger sister all the time, i can hardly go at my own pace so i went for a few more trips on my own.

 

This time, i ventured into the other side of the old park, the place after the playground. Personally, i really like that place because it is less crowded and least disturbance. The track there is good too. Furthermore, that place it green and pleasing to the eye. So i was blading without my specs. I guess that is kinda endangering the people around me but i can still figure out obstacles most of the time. What i like most about rollerblading is the wind. Much like running [which i cant do now due to the persistent splint] but less tedious. And it is FAST too. Even noobs like me can blade faster than or on par with bikes [bicycles, not motorbikes] at an average speed.

 

After a few rounds, i went back and grabbed my waterbottle and set off to the same track. So i was blading with my bottle in my left and my specs in my right. Soon, i got a little thirsty so i waddled across the grass patch, pass the foot track and onto the grass patch beside the breakwater. The sky is still gray and the waves are gentle. It was indeed relaxing. So i lay down my stuff and piak on the grass, staring up into the sky. Luxurious i will say. Yet, cliche it might be but true, all good things have to end, so i got up, dust myself and went back [before i get too carried away on my own].

 

Back at base, i took off the blades and fished out my book and started reading. I though it would be great to lie on the hammock and read but it was too straight and after awhile, my back hurts from arcing and i gave up. We then played chaptey [dont know spelling] and frisbee and soon, we were hungry. So we packed up and set off to elias mall for dinner.

 

On the way, a little boy dart beside me and turned back to mock at his brother who in turn started to chase that little boy. The two then ran off chasing one another. It was a common scene of catching [or just blind chasing one another] but it did triggered a few thoughts. In our life, we have been doing the same too. Chasing dreams [ideals] and running away from bad ones [bad memories]. Chasing.. hmm.. Humans chase over lots of stuffs: titles and ranks, achievements, money? and the common term, 追 (chase) girls [or guys].. Well, then lots of questions came popping up: (just to name a few of them)

"What if the things we were chasing were always running too, then how do we catch up [or will we ever do]. "

"Are the things we are chasing after what we ultimately wants [titles, achievements and money?]"

"Why do we run away from things then? Is there anything chasing behind? If there is, what happens if it catches up?"

But the things is regardless of running towards or away from something, the fact that we are always running. So much so to the point that we may end up forgetting what we are chasing after/running away from, why we are chasing after/running away from it...

Alright, so much of sharing, i shall keep the rest of my thoughts to myself lest it bores/scares readers [if any] with the remaining length..

 

The day finally ended with the movie "Howl's moving castle" [a present of my sister] by director of "Spirited Away", Hayao Miyazaki. I got to say that Spirited Away was too dark a movie for me and remembered i was rather disturbed for a period of time after watching that show. Yet, i got the say that Howl's Moving Castle is a really great movie. I think that it is a very deep movie and expressed many human natures [just like Spirited Away] through the magical world. I will say that this movie can pass as a movie for analysis. Perhaps credits to Language Arts, i found myself questioning myself for the reason to look deeper into the movie. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!

A little little spoiler ahead.

I thought that this description was very appropriate. When Howl regained consciousness upon gaining back his heart [he was unaware he got it back since he was unconscious and "heartless" before that], he said,"I feel terrible. Like i'm trapped under a stone." Something like that.. One one side, one can understand it as it is a burden to feel, while on the other one can understand it as what makes us human is us feeling which is also what made us feel terrible at times. There are many many ways to view this but just thought that it is very true indeed..

 

alright back to mugging... JIAYOU EVERYONE!!!

dreams..

 

tried waking up at 5.55am to mug but failed.. Really tired. Just cant get out of bed. Headache. Same so after waking up from the afternoon nap...

 

Dreaming is a scary phenomenon. I wonder why i was able to make decision in a dream [or if i even was]. And the worst thing is while the settings and content are unrealistic and corny at times, it still seemed so real.. The five senses are completely functional. And what is most scary was while i know that i am coming to my senses [waking up], i could actually feel a "i dont want to wake up" feeling and i practically rushed whatever i want to do/react in the dream while i was in the process of waking up. Then the view shifted from first person to third person view while minimising at the same time and my vision starts to fade in..  I got this feeling that my eyes may be already wide open just that my mind was somewhere else. Was indeed like soul travelling. Gee. I think that is is rather scary. Nonetheless, it was quite a nice and interesting dream. But will such things come true? Well, let's not look too much into dreams...

 

My trusty mp3 player is the companion while i do cip at SCAS. Job's not easy there. Admin stuffs involved not only filing which an unorganised person like me find really tedious. It also involved some lots of physical element. I need to squeeze some thick files into the archive shelves which were already really tight...

 

While listening to my updated playlist, i came across many nice songs which i have not heard from quite some time.. Well, here is one of such song. Ever wondered where that "out of my heart into your head" at the bottom of each post came from? It's from this song..

 

Out of my Heart (Into Your Head) - BBmak

I feel fine
Now the rain has gone and the
sun has come to shine
Nothing can get me down today
Head over heels
Got my mind made up as I’m
driving through the fields
Nothing can get me down again
Catch me if you can
I’ve gotta make a getaway
As the sun goes down, wakin’ up my dreams
And in my mind you’re with me once again
Out of my heart, into your head
And inside my heart there’s a place for you
And in my mind I’m with you once again
Out of my heart, into your head
Chasing the sun
Tryin’ to get away
From the rain that’s gonna come
Hope I make it all the way
I’m lost in a crowd
Tryin’ to find my way
But the rain keeps fallin’ down
Doesn’t matter anyway
Catch me if you can
I’ve gotta make a getaway
As the sun goes down, wakin’ up my dreams
And in my mind you’re with me once again
Out of my heart, into your head
And inside my heart there’s a place for you
And in my mind I’m with you once again
Out of my heart, into your head
Take a look at the sky
Feel the sunshine
In your heart
In your head
In your own time
As the sun goes down, wakin’ up my dreams
And in my mind you’re with me once again
Out of my heart, into your head
And inside my heart there’s a place for you
And in my mind I’m with you once again
Out of my heart, into your head
Out of my heart, into your head
Out of my heart, into your head

 

[credits to yingyu for introducing this and many other english songs.. =)]

went online to kap the chords [it's rather easy except Em7 (it only got 3 chords: Em7, C and D, LOL!)].. i realised that there are many many chords online!! So glad that i found 蒲公英's chords and they are easy!! I meant relative to playing the tabs.. xP yar.. i am no music person and in terms of flexibilty and delicate/simple finger coordination will prove to be a great chore to my tremble-ly fingers.. So easy chords make life a lot easier for me.. Next is to learn to sing while strumming.. Anyway, i need someone to teach me more strumming techniques.. And that someone got to be patient. LOL!

 

finally got my laptop out of my view [yes, i practically did it (thanks zihui jie for the reminder)] so i will use it at night nia.. mom said that laptops emit radiation and should not be placed in the room... hope that is not right. I need to get my beautiful wife out of my view to focus on mugging sia.. haha..

 

once again seeing beautiful time digits.. i saw: [pm] 0101, 0110,0202, 0303, 0330, 0404, 0505 and 0606.. then i went for a nap. woke up and saw 0808.. hahaha... perhaps it is due to my higher frequency of reading time from my watch? Nonetheless, it feels amazing.. those "wah! again!" feeling.. =)

 

going back school tomorrow for consultation with mdm leong who offered upon request. I need to clear some economical doubts.. hahaa.. Thanks Mdm Leong!

 

~once again i am thinking about
taking the easy way out*

warming up?

 

gee.. time sure flies despite it being holidays. I got to admit that i thought that this holiday will be something like a really LoNg Break.. but nope, THE FIRST WEEK IS ALREADY ENDING!!! Gosh.. ought to speed productivity up..

 

THANKS ALL WHO DONATED FOR THE DONATION TICKET AND MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF THOSE DISABLED!!

 

Flying back to wednesday, woke up really early to send younger sis to airport. They are flying to taiwan and they are required to assemble at 6am. Aye. I got to say it is not as organised as how DHS does all these overseas stuff. I mean, for DHS, it is more or less standard. 1. Assemble in a uniform attire. 2.mingle with family and friends. 3.[before assemble] friends take group photo. 4.check in luggage. 5.take group photo with that banner. 6.go in... wave goodbye..  yar.. And my elder sister commented that we [dhs] had been doing these for like 50 over years? Alright, a little exaggerated since i dont think we start overseas activities 50 years back [yes, we are really fortunate lot now], yet i think that there is a point there: perhaps we have more exposure to such overseas trip...

 

after sis is out of sight, send elder sister to mrt station [red line] to take mrt to work. Dad had to clear leave hence was on leave.  Next, dad send me to SCAS since i am going to do CIP. And this particular day, i am going to NUS to carry 30 computers [desktops]. I was early: 820am. I am supposed to reach there at 845am. Being as tired as always, i just fall asleep on the sofa in the office. xP Later, Tuck Seng, the person in charged [something like the OM], came to look for me. It was 835 then. So we moved down to take the transport to NUS. First i placed my bag in his store room and then went to the pick up point. There is suppose to a driver there to pick us up. The vehicle is a formal ambulance but was donated by Temasek Holdings so now it is used for transportation. Tuck Seng then told me that the driver must have went somewhere since he told him that the time to set off is 9.

 

In the meantime, i got to know that he just came to SCAS for 2 weeks and shared his experiences and also, his opinion on helping/working in a charitable organisation. He also cautioned me about the different types of people in this reality. Lots of facade. That kind of introduced me to the darker side of life. Well, through the talk, i do come to understand that he is rather nice guy with sound values. =) But being the typical INFJ, i dont speak much, just listen. I got this habit of listening more and reflecting on it instead of blurting out my immediate thoughts... and Tuck Seng mentioned something i thought was rather "saddening"; 我不明白为什么我们这些又拿薪水的人有时都不如你们这些义工. The idea was that, i guess like any other jobs, people try to slack, in the end, the others got to take up the load. He did point out the crucial difference of this being a charitable organisation so people working here should at least have the heart to be willing to give..There was slight disappointment and disgust in his tone but i do like his conclusion: 我做我的，半工半送；别在乎别人怎么想，快乐就好.

 

Indeed, the driver came at 9. We got the trolley and cardboard boxes up. I sat at the back of the vehicle [no idea what to call it], while the two elders sat at the front. Tired as i was, i decided to lie down on the chair. The driver, Neo, is a good talker. To a certain extend, i think more talk then work. Shrugs. lying down, i look up into the sky filled with beautiful clouds. And among them, i spot the half moon. Being the excited me, i hecked the noob cam quality and just took a picture using my phone.

~the boxes.. no idea why i took this.. lolz.

~nay, the moon cant be seen.. expected..

 

The elders were talking about their NS life because the driver was complaining about his back problem. Well, i dont doubt it but somehow, well, i just think that he is too talkative. So usually i just offer a smile, well, i dont talk much [typing is another thing i guess.. xP] and i hope they dont appear 勉强. The radio channel was 933 and i am sure surprised to heard many songs which i know how to sing. Being in a relatively new place, i just hum to myself.

 

After long time, we finally reached out destination.. NUS faculty of arts and social science: carpark 14. Since it is an authorised vehicle for handicaps, we were allowed to park into the handicap slot. there is even a ramp [incline plane] /slope which allow us to use the trolley more efficiently. We alighted and waited at the lift lobby.

~lift lobby.. quite pretty..

 

Soon, the person in charged of passing us the computers came and lead us to place. We were praying hard that they are relative new computers and were praying even harder that they are not old monitors. To our relieve, they were really [rather] new computers. XP computers by dell and LCDs.. =) Furthermore, they were all nicely packed [mouse and speakers, installation disks, keyboards, etc]. The elders did the talking so i just smile, well, i am a mere volunteer. But Tuck Seng introduced me so i just smile and offered a hi. LOL. not exactly sure how to react. Tuck Seng is always very grateful that i was there to offer help so much so that he mentioned 菩萨保佑 him and sort of make me appear. LOL. But i got to admit that his job is really tough if it was to be done by one person. The driver just carried one or two stuff while we did the rest. And the driver went to eat bread halfway, alright, benefit of doubt, he may be hungry. So we moved everything. Despite having trolleys, it was still relatively difficult to transport since the objects are "fragile". After a few rounds, tuck seng being relatively older, suggested that we rest abit. I am fine but since i am a small fry, i just offered that i can continue but i guess he does not want me to be the only one working so he suggested we take a break. Of course the driver agreed readily. So during the break, i just go look at the sky. It turned a little dark and started to drizzle a little. Got a message and happily spilled my joy of sky-admiring. Looking at the time, i was shocked that it was already 11plus.

~left is the driver, right is tuckseng.. us taking a break. bad quality cam if not you can see the inside is already rather packed with CPUs

 

By the way, the photos will appear shaky at times, i mean, most of the time because i take secretly de.. xP

 

After that, we moved back to SCAS to unload.

~really beautiful sight along ECP.. all the bongavillas [not sure spelling, those flowers] blooming.. btw, i move to the front to sit as the back is filled.

~unloading the CPUs..

 

While unloading, met grace, the admin secretary, whom i helped with the first time i was there and i was about sec3 then. She said i grew taller.. LOL. Did i? Then she told the elders: 不要欺负 ahboy hor. HAHAHHHAHAA.. i was then niaoed all the way.. Ah boy here ah boy there.. Especially with the talkative driver. Since we were suppose to move the stuff to the admin office [tuckseng has a desk there], met grace there and then they [the elders (aiya! just call the both of them this)] niaoed grace when grace asked them to treat me lunch, asking her to take out 10 bucks. And to my surprise, she really did. That shocked everyone i guess. While the driver almost leaped a the orange note, tuckseng immediately turned it down saying that 我会做人的. And i stood there all 尴尬.. Just drawing a the flak in the form of niaos..

 

We then set off to hougang to eat. On the way, i do also learn that tuckseng is a buddist who have been a vegetarian for more than 10 years. Woah. i think such determination is worth commenting. The driver then suggested this place in hougang with good vegetarian food. On the way, there was a part when the front was totally blurred and it was a pillar of rain and we drove into it. Got this urge to try that myself. Despite encountering many of such happening of "caught in the middle", i have never seen one of such distinct difference. By the way, there as another aunty miss who accompanied us since it is lunch time [a rather late one though]. She treated us with jia jia liang teh. Tuckseng then ordered the food [料 shared] and he treated us. I thought i saw the driver drool. LOL. As usual, the driver was doing most of the talking..

 

After eating, we were on our way back to SCAS.

~ on the way back, saw this very interesting unfilled region in the sky.. took the picture through the "rain-washed" window.. a little photoshoping and it will become a heart. Yiwei commented today that it looks like an inverted spade [true, with a bend stalk]..

 

I was actually suppose to call it a day, but being the guy i am, i just cannot stand things done halfway. So i stayed back to help test the parts and install the OS for the 20 sets. I practically chionged the whole porcess, so much so that tuckseng admit that it was stressful working at my pace. I practically combed the area for double electrical sockets [one for cpu and one for monitor] and set up a set of com at these spots [a set consist of a cpu, a monitor, a keyboad and a mouse, 2 power plugs, and installation disk]. We did left out one pair of socket though, the one just beside the door of the executive director [heard he is not very friendly]. I sped through until eventually, the bottleneck slowed us down. Not enough sockets. So the OS were left to load, while i was asked frequently to sit down by tuckseng. while we were resting, this man suddenly came over. I can almost feel that 摆高价 feeling [just not very approachable feeling], a like i-am-superior feeling radiating from the man. So he is that executive director. Tuckseng introduced me and the director, James, offered a hand shake so i took it. Err.. i think it is my bad habit ba, but i thought firm handshake is sincere or at least i do it when i am sincere. So it was quite a forceful one but i scared i oversqueeze his hand so i relaxed a little but then man's grip was more firm. Bleh, wasnt sure if that meant sincerity or more like "i can crush you" feeling. Tuckseng told me to relax and not to be so stress up and i replied that i am use to working under such condition and he then cautioned me about my prominent weak point: prioritise. Indeed, if were to always chiong but chiong the wrong things, i will just get overly stressed up..

 

At 430, i left the place. 20 com all checked and OS installed. tuckseng told me he projected that he will take a week to finish that. And we finished it in one day! i got to admit that i felt satisfied and a great sense of achievement. Being the only volunteer helping up with the admin, i found many people asking for my contact number and i wonder if it is good thing.. LOL.. this ah boy is being stretched and demanded by so many depts to help. Like the various depts trying to pull you over. I got to say it is a little scary.... Somehow, i feel as though i am living jinghui's life.. Does it feel like this?

 

that night i reached home and recieved a msg from tuckseng:

titanic, though it was a big ship but it sunk. so the best ship is friendship.. meaningful eh? haha..

*************

 

well, i am tired now.. a full day in school, a full day of lessons..

 

anyway here is a nice song:

李圣杰 - 擦肩而过 
我爱着谁
爱到我有点醉
告诉我你是谁
能够把我让我变不对
你不会累
但我却爱你爱得好累
从没有为了谁
不顾安危 付出一切
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉

*他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说 我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过*

你听我说
你不要这么做
你不要看着我
说你已经知道怎么做
你很难受
我愿意陪你一起承受
只要你不怕痛
再多坎坷我都陪你走
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉

*chorus*

*chorus*

就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过

********************

Realised that songs' meaning can change a great deal if you change the "person".. like for example, 我 to 他. some will produce rather comical effect but here is one that suggest a rather diff feel.. same song's chorus edited..

我不是一个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了我的日子也能过
他绝不会让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有他的问候
他的温柔陪你度过

edited a few parts here and there to make more sense and fit the syllabus..  meaning rather diff eh? yar.. buddy day 2mr.. mug hard.. jiayouz..

 

 

 

~好的男人有那么多
少了我的日子也能过*