warming up?

 

gee.. time sure flies despite it being holidays. I got to admit that i thought that this holiday will be something like a really LoNg Break.. but nope, THE FIRST WEEK IS ALREADY ENDING!!! Gosh.. ought to speed productivity up..

 

THANKS ALL WHO DONATED FOR THE DONATION TICKET AND MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF THOSE DISABLED!!

 

Flying back to wednesday, woke up really early to send younger sis to airport. They are flying to taiwan and they are required to assemble at 6am. Aye. I got to say it is not as organised as how DHS does all these overseas stuff. I mean, for DHS, it is more or less standard. 1. Assemble in a uniform attire. 2.mingle with family and friends. 3.[before assemble] friends take group photo. 4.check in luggage. 5.take group photo with that banner. 6.go in... wave goodbye..  yar.. And my elder sister commented that we [dhs] had been doing these for like 50 over years? Alright, a little exaggerated since i dont think we start overseas activities 50 years back [yes, we are really fortunate lot now], yet i think that there is a point there: perhaps we have more exposure to such overseas trip...

 

after sis is out of sight, send elder sister to mrt station [red line] to take mrt to work. Dad had to clear leave hence was on leave.  Next, dad send me to SCAS since i am going to do CIP. And this particular day, i am going to NUS to carry 30 computers [desktops]. I was early: 820am. I am supposed to reach there at 845am. Being as tired as always, i just fall asleep on the sofa in the office. xP Later, Tuck Seng, the person in charged [something like the OM], came to look for me. It was 835 then. So we moved down to take the transport to NUS. First i placed my bag in his store room and then went to the pick up point. There is suppose to a driver there to pick us up. The vehicle is a formal ambulance but was donated by Temasek Holdings so now it is used for transportation. Tuck Seng then told me that the driver must have went somewhere since he told him that the time to set off is 9.

 

In the meantime, i got to know that he just came to SCAS for 2 weeks and shared his experiences and also, his opinion on helping/working in a charitable organisation. He also cautioned me about the different types of people in this reality. Lots of facade. That kind of introduced me to the darker side of life. Well, through the talk, i do come to understand that he is rather nice guy with sound values. =) But being the typical INFJ, i dont speak much, just listen. I got this habit of listening more and reflecting on it instead of blurting out my immediate thoughts... and Tuck Seng mentioned something i thought was rather "saddening"; 我不明白为什么我们这些又拿薪水的人有时都不如你们这些义工. The idea was that, i guess like any other jobs, people try to slack, in the end, the others got to take up the load. He did point out the crucial difference of this being a charitable organisation so people working here should at least have the heart to be willing to give..There was slight disappointment and disgust in his tone but i do like his conclusion: 我做我的，半工半送；别在乎别人怎么想，快乐就好.

 

Indeed, the driver came at 9. We got the trolley and cardboard boxes up. I sat at the back of the vehicle [no idea what to call it], while the two elders sat at the front. Tired as i was, i decided to lie down on the chair. The driver, Neo, is a good talker. To a certain extend, i think more talk then work. Shrugs. lying down, i look up into the sky filled with beautiful clouds. And among them, i spot the half moon. Being the excited me, i hecked the noob cam quality and just took a picture using my phone.

~the boxes.. no idea why i took this.. lolz.

~nay, the moon cant be seen.. expected..

 

The elders were talking about their NS life because the driver was complaining about his back problem. Well, i dont doubt it but somehow, well, i just think that he is too talkative. So usually i just offer a smile, well, i dont talk much [typing is another thing i guess.. xP] and i hope they dont appear 勉强. The radio channel was 933 and i am sure surprised to heard many songs which i know how to sing. Being in a relatively new place, i just hum to myself.

 

After long time, we finally reached out destination.. NUS faculty of arts and social science: carpark 14. Since it is an authorised vehicle for handicaps, we were allowed to park into the handicap slot. there is even a ramp [incline plane] /slope which allow us to use the trolley more efficiently. We alighted and waited at the lift lobby.

~lift lobby.. quite pretty..

 

Soon, the person in charged of passing us the computers came and lead us to place. We were praying hard that they are relative new computers and were praying even harder that they are not old monitors. To our relieve, they were really [rather] new computers. XP computers by dell and LCDs.. =) Furthermore, they were all nicely packed [mouse and speakers, installation disks, keyboards, etc]. The elders did the talking so i just smile, well, i am a mere volunteer. But Tuck Seng introduced me so i just smile and offered a hi. LOL. not exactly sure how to react. Tuck Seng is always very grateful that i was there to offer help so much so that he mentioned 菩萨保佑 him and sort of make me appear. LOL. But i got to admit that his job is really tough if it was to be done by one person. The driver just carried one or two stuff while we did the rest. And the driver went to eat bread halfway, alright, benefit of doubt, he may be hungry. So we moved everything. Despite having trolleys, it was still relatively difficult to transport since the objects are "fragile". After a few rounds, tuck seng being relatively older, suggested that we rest abit. I am fine but since i am a small fry, i just offered that i can continue but i guess he does not want me to be the only one working so he suggested we take a break. Of course the driver agreed readily. So during the break, i just go look at the sky. It turned a little dark and started to drizzle a little. Got a message and happily spilled my joy of sky-admiring. Looking at the time, i was shocked that it was already 11plus.

~left is the driver, right is tuckseng.. us taking a break. bad quality cam if not you can see the inside is already rather packed with CPUs

 

By the way, the photos will appear shaky at times, i mean, most of the time because i take secretly de.. xP

 

After that, we moved back to SCAS to unload.

~really beautiful sight along ECP.. all the bongavillas [not sure spelling, those flowers] blooming.. btw, i move to the front to sit as the back is filled.

~unloading the CPUs..

 

While unloading, met grace, the admin secretary, whom i helped with the first time i was there and i was about sec3 then. She said i grew taller.. LOL. Did i? Then she told the elders: 不要欺负 ahboy hor. HAHAHHHAHAA.. i was then niaoed all the way.. Ah boy here ah boy there.. Especially with the talkative driver. Since we were suppose to move the stuff to the admin office [tuckseng has a desk there], met grace there and then they [the elders (aiya! just call the both of them this)] niaoed grace when grace asked them to treat me lunch, asking her to take out 10 bucks. And to my surprise, she really did. That shocked everyone i guess. While the driver almost leaped a the orange note, tuckseng immediately turned it down saying that 我会做人的. And i stood there all 尴尬.. Just drawing a the flak in the form of niaos..

 

We then set off to hougang to eat. On the way, i do also learn that tuckseng is a buddist who have been a vegetarian for more than 10 years. Woah. i think such determination is worth commenting. The driver then suggested this place in hougang with good vegetarian food. On the way, there was a part when the front was totally blurred and it was a pillar of rain and we drove into it. Got this urge to try that myself. Despite encountering many of such happening of "caught in the middle", i have never seen one of such distinct difference. By the way, there as another aunty miss who accompanied us since it is lunch time [a rather late one though]. She treated us with jia jia liang teh. Tuckseng then ordered the food [料 shared] and he treated us. I thought i saw the driver drool. LOL. As usual, the driver was doing most of the talking..

 

After eating, we were on our way back to SCAS.

~ on the way back, saw this very interesting unfilled region in the sky.. took the picture through the "rain-washed" window.. a little photoshoping and it will become a heart. Yiwei commented today that it looks like an inverted spade [true, with a bend stalk]..

 

I was actually suppose to call it a day, but being the guy i am, i just cannot stand things done halfway. So i stayed back to help test the parts and install the OS for the 20 sets. I practically chionged the whole porcess, so much so that tuckseng admit that it was stressful working at my pace. I practically combed the area for double electrical sockets [one for cpu and one for monitor] and set up a set of com at these spots [a set consist of a cpu, a monitor, a keyboad and a mouse, 2 power plugs, and installation disk]. We did left out one pair of socket though, the one just beside the door of the executive director [heard he is not very friendly]. I sped through until eventually, the bottleneck slowed us down. Not enough sockets. So the OS were left to load, while i was asked frequently to sit down by tuckseng. while we were resting, this man suddenly came over. I can almost feel that 摆高价 feeling [just not very approachable feeling], a like i-am-superior feeling radiating from the man. So he is that executive director. Tuckseng introduced me and the director, James, offered a hand shake so i took it. Err.. i think it is my bad habit ba, but i thought firm handshake is sincere or at least i do it when i am sincere. So it was quite a forceful one but i scared i oversqueeze his hand so i relaxed a little but then man's grip was more firm. Bleh, wasnt sure if that meant sincerity or more like "i can crush you" feeling. Tuckseng told me to relax and not to be so stress up and i replied that i am use to working under such condition and he then cautioned me about my prominent weak point: prioritise. Indeed, if were to always chiong but chiong the wrong things, i will just get overly stressed up..

 

At 430, i left the place. 20 com all checked and OS installed. tuckseng told me he projected that he will take a week to finish that. And we finished it in one day! i got to admit that i felt satisfied and a great sense of achievement. Being the only volunteer helping up with the admin, i found many people asking for my contact number and i wonder if it is good thing.. LOL.. this ah boy is being stretched and demanded by so many depts to help. Like the various depts trying to pull you over. I got to say it is a little scary.... Somehow, i feel as though i am living jinghui's life.. Does it feel like this?

 

that night i reached home and recieved a msg from tuckseng:

titanic, though it was a big ship but it sunk. so the best ship is friendship.. meaningful eh? haha..

*************

 

well, i am tired now.. a full day in school, a full day of lessons..

 

anyway here is a nice song:

李圣杰 - 擦肩而过 
我爱着谁
爱到我有点醉
告诉我你是谁
能够把我让我变不对
你不会累
但我却爱你爱得好累
从没有为了谁
不顾安危 付出一切
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉

*他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说 我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过*

你听我说
你不要这么做
你不要看着我
说你已经知道怎么做
你很难受
我愿意陪你一起承受
只要你不怕痛
再多坎坷我都陪你走
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉

*chorus*

*chorus*

就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过

********************

Realised that songs' meaning can change a great deal if you change the "person".. like for example, 我 to 他. some will produce rather comical effect but here is one that suggest a rather diff feel.. same song's chorus edited..

我不是一个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了我的日子也能过
他绝不会让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有他的问候
他的温柔陪你度过

edited a few parts here and there to make more sense and fit the syllabus..  meaning rather diff eh? yar.. buddy day 2mr.. mug hard.. jiayouz..

 

 

 

~好的男人有那么多
少了我的日子也能过*

altruism

 

argh.. I am already feeling the "wrath" of my various subjects. Despite having lots of things to post about, i just cannot find the time to do it till today. For the whole of today, the only thing i managed to accomplish is revising econs [and it is a H1 subject]. And i did not FINISH revision but merely completed 1.5 SUB-chapters of macroeconomy. =.=

 

I got to admit that i am no mugger [perhaps i am in the pass but not now]. I no longer possess the sit-down-and-mug-for-the-whole-day stamina. LDMR sets in too quickly. I guess i must numb myself from the chance to think of any leisure activities by filling and packing my schedules in the way that i cannot slack.. So i guess it is justifiable to go help out at SCAS [Spastic Children's Association School] for CIP. I am doing CIP everyday from 830am to about lunch adn started yesterday..

 

If you have read my previous post [a few back i guess], you will know that i have a pathetic amount of CIP hours. Well, CIP is a good way to get people started with Community Service but i don't exactly like the thing about clogging hours. People serving for the sake of hours just don't sound right to me. But i guess i fall guilty to the group of people who will stay in our comfort zone and take things for granted if not for CIP hours motivation. i still think that just like examinations, they set a myopic view, missing out the greater details and learning objectives.

 

As for Spastic Children's Association School, it in fact a place i am very familiar with. I ran away from the school and mixed into dhs. No lar, joking nia. My elder sis and i went there to volunteer before and looking back, i was only in sec3 then. I remembered that i went there during the school holidays too. Wow. Time really flies. I was invited to their dinner then too. I remembered i went there alone because my sister's invitation failed to arrive. I was one of the youngest guy there then. Sat around the table of strangers and being a volunteer could allow conversations to be strike just like that. They are all very approachable and smiley people.

 

Now that i am back into the campus, it does made me feel guilty that i am entering the premises with the initial thought of CIP hours. I messaged Ms Toh to make a query if there is a maximum number of hours that i can clog from a particular organisation. And the reply message was that i can accumulate at most 8 hours a day and along with it came the reminder of the greater importance of learning from the experience and also to focus on studying and preparation for exam. I was really grateful for the reminders though i already had them in mind. I think that it is exactly the way to teachers can help make CIP more effective through the such reminders [though it may sound rather cliche]. Personally, i go have great goals and aspirations, but my way of working is usually of a different focus [dont exactly know how to express]. Take for example studying, i have the goal of wanting to obtain straight As and that is what spurs me to start doing work. But once i start doing work, i will be focusing on enjoying the learning process rather than still being motivated with the same As thought. Works the same way with CIP hours and serving the community...

 

~google earth image of SCAS campus.. it is beside meridian jc

 

Since SCAS is just like any other school, they are having a term break now too. Which also meant that there are no students in school and i cannot help run school activities [just like the previous times]. As usual, i helped out with the admin matters [which are the stuff which i can help with]. So there were filings to be done, typing jobs, digging of archives, etc [basically the jobs of the secretary]. Being a very disorganised person who HATES filing [amelia, jingwen and yiwei should know - i meant, look at my fat file which i bring around all the time], such jobs are rather demanding but it is never too late to start organising my stuff, and my life..

 

So while filing those archives, thoughts were running through my mind [as usual]. There are students [some as old as us (18)] who are psychologically less stable than the average and quite a few required subsidies as they were from less-well-to-do families. I even came across this one case of a student who passed away.. All this time i had been so fortunate and i took things for granted. My state of mine, my time.. What will it be if i am indeed one of the students there studying? Imagine all the social stress faced by these people.

 

Just as thoughts were getting rather down and negative, i had a paradigm shift. There is this lady who happened to suffer a certain disorder but is fit to mend the counter and various activities like pushing a trolley to get things from a place to another. She does have some difficulties in walking but she made an effort to enter the room which i was working in and offered me a packet of green tea. Another happening made me reflect upon myself more. The same lady was reminded [i don't think it is harsh enough to be termed as scolding - firm tone but not harsh] not to leave the counter empty and always ensure that someone at the counter in case of any emergency. I was surprised by the lady's immediate reaction: a sincere apology. That is something only a person with high level of 修养 will be able to react at such a situation. i was taken aback and felt that to this extend, the able me is much disabled compared to her. Is it due to us being too conscious of ourselves and held ourselves so high up that we tend to save our thanks and apologies to ourselves? Ironically, the more capable of us in terms of thinking, the more things we worry about and when we worry about these things, we forgot about the basics of expression. i think this is one great take away i got from providing my service. And nope, it does stops here. I got to say that i have, like many others i believe, have cultivated this bad habit of inhibiting our expression of gratitude/apologies.. So much so that despite letting the words out of the mouth, it may not exactly sound sincere. Hence working in that evnronment does sharpen my patience, and my 修养 and not forgeting to learn to not take things for granted...

 

hence if you dont know, altruism refers to putting others before self.. I came across this word while reading reader's digest after SCAS.. what a coincidence huh?

 

Will be going down to NUS to help carry some computers back.. That will earn me a free lunch but well, that [the lunch] is optional... It does feels great to be able to help in any form. And YAR!! They are selling donation tickets [you know? those with lucky draws?] and i volunteered to take a booklet. There are 10 tickets inside and each costs 2bucks. You can get one from me if you are willing to donate. As for those who needs more motivation, here are the list of prizes [shall not harp on the correct mindset to donation since ultimately any form of donation will be helpful]:

1st: cash $8000
2nd: cash $5000
3rd: cash $3000
4th: cash $2000
5th: return air ticket to beijing for 2 -free and easy
6th: 6months classical violin and guitar course [sounds cool rite?]
7th-14th: sony ericsson k7701 cybershot phone
15th-19th: Derma Nano Skin Care Products [no idea what this is]
20th-22nd: JE computer and education center course voucher
23rd: in-room digital safe [donated by anonymous!]
24th: 5 piece lawry's dry fit champagne glasses [i though dry fit only for shirts] - donated by anonymous too
25th: 14" red miine trolley bag and lancester cosmetic products - donated by anonymous!
26th: siemens gigaset a260 duo
27th-29th: lancester hamper -donated by anonymous
30th-33rd: F&B credit vouches & 1 sauber junior graphic t-shirt
34th: meal voucher at white rose cafe
35th-38th: imperial treasure nan bei restaurant food voucher and $30 pizza hut vouchers -by anonymous and pizza hut singapore [for the rest too]
39th-48th: $20 PH voucher and 1 sauber junior graphic shirt
49th-50th: $40 PH vouchers and 1 lawry's lightweight umbrella

pant.. this sure took me quite some time to type sia. I only typed those sponsors which are anonymous because i thought it was rather interesting and to give up something without wanting the credit for it is indeed altruistic.. Perhaps they are all philanthropies. . =)

 

Despite of all these, i still got to spend more time on my work sia.. 这世界太现实了.. Ironic huh? 现实 was never meant to be a bad word and in fact, how can being realistic [my bad translation for 现实] be bad. But the idea is there, it does points out the various things that have to be forego. Some used this phrase to justify scheming.. Well, it is rather sad to hear that the world is too "realistic" to live in.. I got to admit that i admire people with the strong will to do good. I though valerie kor's save-the-animal acts are really quite touching [going vegetarian and helping the night safari]. Then the question comes whether such giving people can survive in such a practical [a more accurate translation i just thought of (pardon my d7 chinese)] world? 以我来看，这种生活方式是可能的，但这将会是道很辛苦却充满意义与满足感的路。我有这种能力与度量坚持到底吗? 不，应该说坚持到他成为我价值观的一部分为止...

 

Alright, less of such thoughts and moving on to yesterday night [suppose to be evening].. IT IS OUR GUITAR CONCERT 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY! Woah.. time really files.. Oxy still poke frequent reminders on what we were doing at some particular timings and it sure made our minds/hearts resonate with the same image/feelings. We were suppose to meet at serangoon MRT station at 5 and set off for chomp chomp. Since my stomach is weak, i cannot take those seafood and spicy stuff till further notice. So i ate at home before going, hence resulting in meeting them at about 6 plus or 7 plus. Took 53 down to Oxy's house and changed to 315. Brought back memories of the day when i was going home from her house at the same timing [after poster making] while i am going to somewhere else now. Shall skip my bad encounter with the stall uncle and move on with the dinner. The food sure looks good though i can't eat. Lots of funs were poked at one another [haha.. interesting way of bad expression].

 

While waiting for grand captain/teacher ping to arrive, we tried deciding on a place to go and something to do and we eventually ended up decided on "deciding" and then home. If you dont get what i mean, i meant we ended up deciding to carry on with the activity "deciding" and then leave for home. LOL. Not surprising huh? XinZi made an interesting prediction of the reaction of keng hoe if he was here. Got no photos to post as usual due to my lag of imba decent phone cam. We eventually landed up at a coffee bean stall. I got the say that the place was radiating a romantic ambience.. until our arrival [coupled with our loud talking]. The main cluster started playing zhong ji mi ma with the penalty of truth or dare. it must have been quite fun since there were lots of laughter but wasnt in the mood of numbers so i didnt join them. So a smaller cluster was formed. Daniel, jason, xinzi and me. The 4h guys started singing and i thought it was really quite enjoyable [despite having a sorethroat (lasted from that scope)]. That brought denjz's words back to me about forming of bubble. i think we have indeed accomplished that, considering we were singing in the bus.

 

Talking about bus, we boarded 315 in desperation to chase Oxy, only to find ourselves [the 4h guys - oxy suggested encephala] taking the loop service in the wrong loop. =.= and that left us with a bladder filled jason singing the high pitch vocal of "lion sleeps tonight" with me and daniel filling in [an attempt for encephala xP] I got to say that we got powerful voices.. So much so that we scared an Ah-Beng like guy away. ROFL. Oxy's toilet saved the 53 from getting wet. And sorry to dirty the floor. Daniel, are you sure you didnt wet the floor when oxy turned off the lights?

 

My younger sis will be flying over to taiwan for a language trip.. Flight at 6 so got to wake up early. Shall inspire to fuse in exercise into my already tight schedule. Reminds me of the anti-smoking song: a healthy body makes a healthy mind...(you dont need tobacco to pass the time.. you dont need the habit that gives you pain. you dont need the nicotine stain).. wow! i still remembered the song. Fond primary school memories. AND YAR! As i was saying we 4h guys were singing, Jason and i still remembered our primary school song!! and we both agreed that it was a nice song, not to say simple and meaningful too.

 

was thinking again how will i react if i am diagnosed with a terminal illness and the doc tells me that i have XX number of days/weeks/years left.. in fact such thoughs are not anything "sway" or what.. everyone will die sooner or later. Imagine this person who can predict the future tell you your remaining life span/how long you will last to the end of you life.. it is as good as a doc telling you that: I am sorry to inform you that you are down with XXX and you have only (for example) 50 years to live. Well, 50 years seems like long time huh? What about 50 months? 50weeks? 50 days? And if it is indeed 50 days, think of waking up at the 51st day.. I think i would have gave a loud cheer and perhaps die from that. Daniel once told me about him thinking of all the "interesting time to die". Straight As for A level and die is one of such example. Indeed, we never know.. At that every moment, everything which was important will never seem to be as important and those which were less so will suddenly seemed more so. Back to the irony of getting caught up with complexity that we missed out the basics. Life is sure full of ironies..

 

I think i have posted this song before but i thought it will be this song that i will want to dedicate to my love ones [my family and friends] if i were to leave this world..

 

Close your eyes -Westlife

[If you wanna know]
Tomorrow morning I have to leave
But wherever I may be
Best believe I'm thinking of you
I can't believe how much I love you
All we have is here tonight
We don't want to waste this time
Give me something to remember
Baby put your lips on mine (ok.. maybe not this part)
And I'll love you forever
Anytime that we find ourselves apart

Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you just close your eyes
Till your drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes

I know I'm gonna see you again
But promise me that you won't forget
Cause as long as you remember
A part of us will be together
So even when you're fast asleep
Look for me inside your dreams
Keep believing in what we're sharing
And even when I'm not there to tell you
I'll, I'll love, Love you forever
Anytime that I can't be where you are

(Chorus)
Is there anywhere that far?
Anytime you're feeling low
Is there anywhere that love cannot reach?
Oh no
It could be anywhere on earth
It could be anywhere I'll be
Oh baby if you want to see
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Look to your heart
That's where I'll be
Just close your eyes
Till your drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
(Chorus)

 

and end it off with 借口's...

~如果难过
请你忘了我*

同样的机场 不同世界...

 

was too late to post yesterday so decided to do so today. You will know why yesterday ended off so late..

 

since yesterday was a saturday, it was suppose to be buddy day, but then it failed due to all of our various commitments. Yiwei [being the Yiwei of all traits] was roped into play scrabble for SINGAPORE.. lolz. Joking, for some competition. Tien Leng went off to NUS open house [which i was totally unaware of till yesterday night]. As for me, need to take care of my cousin and my sister while my parents and my elder sister go off for the weekly acupuncture session [hence i guess i will be late for most buddy days now]. Still got to read newspapers. Now that we dont order newspapers, i come to understand the importance of it. Despite having the online version, browsing through a newsPAPER is still easier and faster than clicking and waiting for the page to load. 东西往往都是在失去了才懂得它的珍贵..  Luckily, dad can still take outdated newspapers from his office. i find reading such flimsy big piece of paper really tiring. Perhaps it is due to my bad posture when reading but it sure tires me out after reading a few stacks.

 

Then the series of "malu" events started to occur. I wonder where did i heard from, but i remembered hearing that the flight timing for the people going to thailand leaves at 630. Since there is a straight bus from my place, i didnt have to leave home that early. Furthermore,  i got to 吩咐好 the stuffs to the two girls before leaving. Chiong to wash up and gobbled down a packet of duck rice [which was more like a rice cake as the rice were all "glued" together and was really hard]. Ensuring that they locked the door etc, i chionged to the bus stop...

 

2 bus39s, 2 bus359s, 2 bus3s, 1 bus81.. Just no sign of bus 53. Crap. Soon [a long one], the bus finally came and i got the message that the people are already going in when i was only at whitesands. =.= Nonetheless, i still made my way there, since i am already on the bus. Was informed that the people are going to eat at a staff canteen. Knowing that there are 2 staff canteens [maybe 3 now that there is t3], i asked the person on the phone, who happened to be daniel, which one they are going to. Being the ever well-aware-of-what-is-going-on daniel [lol.. that is niao], he told me that he will tell me again. Soon [a relatively shorter one], i reached t1. Still no nothing from daniel. Thinking that being the ever food loving 4H people, they will want to go to t1 canteen since there are more stalls [i think] there. Hence i alighted at t1, only to receive the message that they are at t2 staff canteen the moment i step out of the bus. T.T Totally retarded.

 

Moving on, got onto the sky train and messaged the people that i am really sorry for not making it on time. Though i could have done so earlier, but the retarded side of me felt more appropriate messaging now that i am in the airport.

 

From my memory, i remembered that the staff canteen of t2 is somewhere at the top storey, somewhere where the lift cannot reach. I remembered that i took a lift up and must walk a flight of stairs. Based on that memory, i tried doing the same. Then i found myself in this really spooky place. Erm, it may due to me being timid but i am reassured that that place is indeed spooky when i brought daniel and xinzi there. Xinzi took a few pictures while daniel was against that idea fearing that something will appear will in those pictures. There were a few doors in that place. The retarded side of me tried opening the door, only to find that it's lock. It was only then did i become less retarded and leave the place.

 

Walked out of the spooky place in a daze. To much of my surprise, i saw xinzi all smiley, walking in my direction. So i asked if he know how to get to the staff canteen. And he pointed in the forward direction. Initially i thought that he knew the way, but in fact, he was pointing at a working staff who was leading the way. Upon reaching the staff canteen [which was indeed climbing a flight of stairs beside a lift], xinzi thanked the staff in Chinese. and i meant Chinese [中国风]. Lol. Some how, it got this feeling of foreigners bonding in a foreign land. Not saying that xinzi is anyone foreign but such feeling is heartwarming,

 

Since i just gobbled down the duck rice cake, i was not hungry. Still, we got dessert. Btw, the people there were zihui,anting, yokesan, jason, yiwei, daniel, xinzi, tienleng and me. Fewer than expected. Heard Eugene was there earlier. Well, he appeared later after our dessert too. lolz.>.< [i seriously need a good cam - my blog is too wordy sia]. And i did also learnt the benefit of just asking. We got FREE sago topping from the dessert stall aunty. Must be due to yiwei's charming look [or is it the aunty saw his "heartbroken" scribbled on his face].

 

The same flight of stairs which was dimly lit was now painted orange as the sun set at the horizon. The nicer thing is the duplication of the setting sun due to internal reflection from the overlapping window panes. Sadly, it was not possible to be capture on the various cameras. The sight got us guys crowded on the small opening and that drew some people to peep over our shoulders to see what we were looking at. LOL.

~one of the many picture taken by tl's cam [can see reflection]

 

The girls left [to zihui: i didnt mean anything like what you said/acted lo.. my exp prob ba]. And us, the guys, walked around t2 [practically the whole of t2] looking for a decent place to mug. I helped pretend to be the subject of a photo so that the real subjects [aged workers] can be captured on xinzi's camera. LOL. There were seriously many places in t2 which i have no memories of venturing into [the spooky place being one of the many]. I have no memories of going to the viewing gallery too. I was ignorant of the presence of a intercom place. Got an interesting picture in daniel's phone. The viewing gallery was packed with muggers. Notes all over the floor. Personally, i think that i will not be able to do anywork there lo. 1stly there is notable and 2ndly, the lighting is too dim. Kinda a solemn ambience. In the very end, we found ourselves in mac. Jamie was there too. I failed to recognise verine. xP They were here to send Xumei off. DHS people sure have strong bonds sia. Which is really heart warming.

~雨点从两旁划过割开两种精神的我... [分裂 - 周杰伦]

 

The 6 guys then cramped into a supposed to be 4 people table. Tienleng and me were doing electrochem [jamie saved me with foolscap papers and tienleng too]. After the long walk, i got hungry so i ordered a foldover set. Despite having a sorethroat, i guess filling up the stomach is more important than sorethroat ba.   Xinzi gave a brain-juicing question which is as follow:

"how to you identify an odd coin form a pile of 12 coins by using a balance thrice - you have no idea if the odd coin is lighter or heavier.."

and that set things off. Everyone paused their work and channeled their attention to sourcing for the solution. All except me [ok.. i was still thinking before i got my meal], who was enjoying the music from yiwei's phone along with my foldover meal. I thought it was quite comical that all the other 5 guys were having hell thinking about the question while i was happily enjoying my meal. I guess daniel, who was diagonally opposite me, caught sight of my frequent grin at the thoguht of this...

 

we left after i am done with my meal. Yiwei claimed that he had solved the problem yet due to the reason of not wanting spoilers, those who think that they are confident with the answer must keep their answers to themselves. A little ironic but true. haha. Personally, i was not in the mood to think so i was happily singing songs etc. To me, i think that the question is just a complicated one, not one that is chim. But i got to say that i was wrong. Upon reaching home, it was already 10 plus going 11. wrote my diary and after that, i started on the journey to solve the question. The thing about this type of question is the presence of "small, big problem". Ironic? But that is the feel of it. Small as in a small chance of the problem happening but it is also this small problem that creates the flaw in the answer. I am proud to say that i got an answer which i have yet to find any flaw and am confident of it. But i got to say that i am amazed myself that i could think to this level. Hope that more people will come with a confident answer so that i can discuss my answer with the person..

 

this was also the reason why i didnt post yesterday. I did that question till 1230am of today. xP

 

I got to say the trip to the airport was one of a very different feel. I have never walked around the airport alone before. Remembered zihui saying that the title for yiwei's post is 不流泪的机场. Personally, the first song that came into my mind was also a Lin JJ song but it was 翅膀.. I really like that song. Walking pass the departure hall made me imagine the once crowded image of dhs people with their parents and friends. It was indeed like  同样的机场不同世界.. Then the board with lots of flight info stared flicking. I paused for a moment, as if something would happen. But of course, nothing happened [those only occur in man-made stories.. lol..] then i moved on to staff canteen.

even for the tour around t2 with the guys was indeed of a very different feel. Like a bunch of kids who were away from their parents and being fascinated with things around. lol...

 

~buddies unite! that hand holding the pencil is my hand!  [i sure looked tired and i wonder if i was (maybe after taking 3ngs as he zoom all the way in and entertaining himself - pardon him and his heartbroken state XP]

Well.. this is our first ever buddy night... the beginning of the mugging spree.. 大家一起加油!!!

 

today is my parents' wedding anniversary!! Will being going out to eat fish head steamboat. =) Really grateful to have such a loving family.

 

 

thanks tienleng... aye.. this is a great song..

 

 

《爱如潮水》张信哲

不问你为何流眼泪 不在乎你心里还有谁
请让我给你安慰 不论结局是喜是悲
走过千山万水 在我心里你永远是那么美
既然爱了就不后悔（就无怨无悔）
再多的苦我也愿意背
我的爱如潮水 爱如潮水将我向你推
紧紧跟随 爱如潮水它将你我包围
我再也不愿见你在深夜里买醉
不愿别的男人见识你的抚媚
你该知道这样会让我心碎
答应我你从此不在深夜里徘徊
不要轻易尝试放纵的滋味
你可知道这样会让我心碎

 

 

 

~走过千山万水
再多的苦我也愿意背*

坚强

underachieving..

 

this was the word that appeared most from the conversation xinzi when we [me and him] set off for lunch together.. Can indeed feel the tint of a little regret and definitely disappointment in his tone, but since you are aware of it / feels this way, you are bound to do something and that is the most crucial part of everything i guess. After all, the main goal is still that november BIG thing. Hence, cheer up and speed on ZHOU!

 

I can't say that i am underachieving in anyway because i am unsure of how much i can achieve. In fact, i think that i am really not a smart person. I made it for PSLE by working really hard and my memory is not as good as the average i guess, hence my poor result for history [a subject which i can never make it]. I got to say that i am rather surprised by the school allowing me to take my triple science combination. I got to say that it is indeed the one of the toughest combination one can get for the pre-uni education. The whole series of SPAs have just ended [phew] and now, it will be time for loads of practices and revisions. Heard this some where; "会考"就是考你会不会考.. and i think that it is certainly really true. I got to admit that not am i not of high capability in brain terms, i suck at exams. Mental blocks and ridiculous careless mistakes rob me of already pathetic mark.. I guess this is the reason for my low low scores. Well, yes, i got to do something about it. Nonetheless, i seriously thinks that examinations set the wrong tone for "learning". Perhaps the good part of them is that they motivate [a better word for "force"] students to study since the marks are of really high significance [high marks, you are good; low grades, you are poor]. But i seriously think that in spite of this motivation, there is something not right about exams. Learning should be due to the want for knowledge, not so much of the overly focused "exam smart" techniques. I guess this is a limitation which cannot be solve. Society stills require such grading system i guess.

 

I seriously cannot picture myself getting straight As.. but somehow, i got to make it..

 

 

today is the last day for the full moon of this moon cycle. Yet the moon is hidden from my view. Too cloudy i guess. Or perhaps it has yet to rise.

 

feels weird today.. 心里一直存在着一种空虚，但又不知它的起因.. well, i shall sleep on it....

 

 

oh yar.. GOOD LUCK FOR SPA

PHYSICS PEOPLE!!!!! you people will need it i guess.. xP

 

 

李圣杰-远走高飞-歌词

爱你错了吗
为什么会受到这么多惩罚
他们说的话像针往心里扎
我心中的怕
不知该怎么做才可以放下
只不过想好好的爱一次啊
带我远走高飞
不去理会
这一个蜚短流长的世界布满虚伪
是你让我选择沉醉
繁星守侯月不能睡
只因为爱上了夜的黑
带我远走高飞
一起去追
有一个叫做幸福的世界没有泪水
我已经感觉到疲累
只想在你怀抱入睡
不在乎别人眼中是非
重新再出发
能不能让这天地不再吵杂
我的心里面安静得不像话
故事的真假
没有多余的力气去分辨他
只不过想好好的爱一次啊

 

THE MOON IS OUT!!! EMBER!! damn it.. i got no imba camera.. T.T

 

~see that orange spot? YES! that is the moon!!!

~ a feeble attempt for a zoom.. [how i wish i got an imba cam like the photographers - mr chia/cms]

 

seems like it has indeed risen later.. Dad will be coming home today.. That spells the end of my solo journeys to school [which was rather enjoying] and i guess i will be spoilt by the luxury to wake up later now that car can travel and reach school faster. But shall remember the experience and learn to be appreciative of how fortunate i am; and not grumble about how i may not be of standard with others in terms of certain material aspect..

 

 

蜚短流长的世界布满虚伪 contrasted with

叫做幸福的世界没有泪水.. truth vs ideal? well, does it matter how we term things at all?

 

 

~爱上了夜的黑*

encrypted..

 

Wind flows into my house and washes across my work desk and cleanses my weary soul. Looking to my left, the moon is full, with a tint of red. The glowing ember colour seems to tell me, something yet i can't comprehend. It doesn't seem very positive to me, yet it sounded like an honest warning for something unpleasant. Shall not think too much.

 

Woke up really early [relative to other sundays], at about 600, mom woke up and prepared breakfast for us. I was already half wake, but well, aching muscles increased the cost of crawling out of bed. Still got out by 635. Since today is Vesak Day, mom said that we should make a trip down to the temple as a form of respect. Personally, i am not a very religious person but i do think that there is something worth investing in the future. In fact, i don't think it matters as to what or which god you pray to; isn't it all about investing some hope in the future? Yar lo.. For example, when you see a rainbow/shooting star, you will make a wish right? And if you do, do you wish to your god? I don't think one will make that special effort ba.

 

**********

Anyway, relationships are strengthen with common goals and the inverse is true too [relations may be weaken with conflicting ideologies]. So, like what my parents said, we ought to be grateful and pay respect to the religion for "guiding" us through the thick and thins of life till this current state, which is not too bad i guess. There are many ways to look at things ba. One can always be contented with the current situation and thank god for it [thinking that without the divine help, things would have been worse if current situation is bad] while one can also focusing the downs in life and lose faith. Shrugs. I guess religion is a highly complex and psychological "weapon". It is highly manipulative and effective; being able to unify so many people to a common goal [even to the extreme of giving up of their life]. Though i got to admit that i am skeptical about the existence of the entity "god", there may indeed exist such an entity that guide the natural occurring of events. So to a certain extend, what most religion are a worshiping of the word "fate".

**********

 

Since we left house really early, we made it back before 2. Finished up with my normal tutorial and assignment and went off to take a nap which stretched beyond an hour. Recharged? Not exactly, but quite sure that rest is the next best alternative to anything.

 

Oh and i decided to add that countdown here as a reminder for myself.. and i guess it is a good reminder for fellow A level candidates. No intension of adding on to already stressed up people, but a little stress is motivating...

 

 

 

well, the moon is now hanging high up in the sky.. REALLY BRIGHT!! Pardon my OB for a non-living entity called the moon, but i cant help noticing things that are in the sky.

 

 

 

 

the moon is so bright that my astigmatism made it hard to hard to distinguish its circumference from the halo formed around it...

 

 

perhaps the red to bright moon is a sign of something bad ripening into something good? Bleh.. Random.. feeble attempt to decrypt the complexity of life..

 

 

shall just enjoy the sight of it and savour the delicious breezes.. =)

 

 

 

 

~在月光下 一直找寻
那想念的身影*

i need to up efficiency..

 

well, the title spells it all.. Need to mug harder.. Mom just reminded me and gave me more reasons to panic about the impending A levels..

 

on the side note, my cip hours are really screwed.. X.x Wonder if there is a way to work things out.. Really quite 丢脸 sia.. single digit cip of 8 hours... yuck..

 

went to oxy's place to do the poster for myanmar fund raising.. Was rather productive i think personally. Was limited by photoshop's lag most of the time. Was quite an enjoyable process.. sorry to m*** s**** for the long wait.. LOL!!

 

anyway, here is a nice song..really really really old but nice.. like 伍思凱's songs..

 

伍思凱-分享歌詞

時間已做了選擇 什麼人叫做朋友
偶而碰頭 心情卻能一點就通
因為我們曾有過 理想類似的生活
太多感受 絕非三言兩語能形容
可能有時我們顧慮太多 太多決定需要我們去選擇
擔心會犯錯 難免會受挫 幸好一路上有你陪我
與你分享的快樂 勝過獨自擁有 至今我仍深深感動
好友如同一扇窗 能讓視野不同
與你分享的快樂 勝過獨自擁有 至今我仍深深感動
好友如同一扇門 讓世界(變)開闊

 

 

stop disturbing me with all sorts of health problems please.. I am quite sure i have got quite a long list le.

 

I seriously need to mug harder and more efficiently. Definitely not like one normal tutorial from morning to night and what's more.. It is still incomplete. X.x *doubleslap.. alright.. dont give up.. don't stress to much.. just CHIONG! GGggrrr...

 

.

 

~與你分享的快樂 勝過獨自擁有 至今我仍深深感動
友如同一扇門 讓世界(變)開闊*

accident prone..

 

phew.. it is weekend again. Every week passes as though it was just a single day.

 

Have been imagine myself mirrored as a voodoo doll. One with many needles stuck on. These days have been rather "lucky". Backtrack to thursday...

 

1. endoscope

Thursday is the day of my scope. Initially, i though that it was going to be some small scale thing with just involve me sitting on a chair and then they roll the tube in. But it wasn't as "small" as i thought.

Woke up early to bid dad safe journey and soon, everyone set out of home. Mom accompanied me to the hospital. Oh damn. Remembered the most torturous thing was the fasting part. I CANNOT even drink water. T.T And luckily, sis told me to wear slippers and mom asked me to wear long pants. Though it looked really weird but well, who cares. Took the train to simei, and walk to changi general hospital. Got more and more hungry so just sleep whenever possible. On the train, while my mom was eating breakfast, while registration and even while i was waiting for the doctor to come. Since i reached and registered, i got to go in earlier. After registration, they brought me to a ward. I got to admit that i was quite shocked. Never was i expecting to be "wheeled" into the room, like those drama series. In fact, i was thinking that it will be more like some dentist trip. Ok, pardon my ignorance. Was really glad that i remembered to bring my level jacket as it was indeed cold [hence mom reminded me to wear long pants]. But i got to take it off for convenience of taking my blood pressure. Hence it was cold in the room. To add on to the foreign atmosphere, i was half blinded as my spectacles were with my mom [specs were not allowed too].

So i went got pushed in and i remembered feeling awkward telling my mom "goodbye" [just in case..]. It was about 8 then, half an hour before my appointment's scheduled time. Since i got no watch, all i could do was to estimate. It was a rather long wait. I was left outside the "studio?" for quite some time before they eventually pushed me into the room where the actual scope will take place. It was indeed interesting to be pushed while lying down [was rather giddy in my opinion and kinda insecure as you have no idea where you are approaching]. They strapped the blood pressure monitor and clipped a cute clip at one of my fingers. I remembered the bored, tired and half blind me asking them lots of questions. So i come to understand that the cute clip was able to measure my oxygen level [COOL]. I got to admit that technology had indeed allowed humans to do lots of amazing things which may never been thought possible of. Power of knowledge. Then the nurses came back with a familiar ice-cream-box-like-box and i knew it will be something to do with needle. They are going to put that plastic needle into me. It was rather 夸张 in my opinion because there was one nurse gripping and pressing my left arm down as if i will struggle while the other was flicking my veins and asking me to clench and unclench my fist quickly. Was it that hard to find a vein? There are so many protruding even when i am relaxed. They got it in eventually [the nurse's flicking was more painful then the insertion of the needle sia]. Feels weird having something foreign in the body.

Another long wait. My fingers were numb from the cold and was unsure of moving them, fearing that the needle may bend and who knows what will happen. But BTH [buai ta han] already so i moved my fingers, surprised to find that there was no pain, just discomfort but well, it helps a little in easing the coldness. The nurses in the "studio?" [really unsure of the name of the room] were conversing in hokkien and condemning on the various politics of work. Well, i just felt like another piece of equipment in the room. So the cold, bored and hungry me just go to sleep.

The next time i woke up was when they retook my blood pressure [101 i think.. can't see properly], that thing squeezed my arm and i woke up. Doctor is finally here. Things happened quickly after that, or perhaps i am still rather blur as i just woke up. I got to lie to my left [away from the screen sadly] and they strapped something around my neck with something for me to bite on [felt like a dog]. The doctor then administered the anaesthetic into the plastic needle. The nurse got lots of toilet papers/towels and covered my face and all i can see was downward and lots of tube-like things going into my mouth and down my throat. I just burped all the way, continuously. By the way, it was really a bad feeling when there are lots of gas in your stomach and i mean the organ. There is this feeling of something is coming out and makes you feel like puking, only that it is lots of air and it is hell difficult to come out. And that was the reason for the scope anyway. I was rather conscious after the whole thing and remembered telling my mom when i was eventually wheeled out that i am tired and i want my mp3 player. LOL. And yes, my trusty MP3 player survived with me throughout the whole thing. Was rather relaxing: sleeping and listening to music. I meant when you fall asleep, you wont hear the music but when you wake up, there is music to last you to the next sleep.

I was suppose to be kept there for 2 hours for observation so i just slept through. There was a moment shortly after the scope when they served me 4 pieces of bread and a cup of milo [most probably the last few cups of milos i will be drinking]. The bread was wrapped in a plastic wrap and i remembered that my limbs were so jelly that i could not even unwrap the plastic wrap. The nurse also removed the plastic needle and to my surprise [i was looking at the nurse removing the needle (i got my spectacles now)], that needle is LONG! Till now, the wound is still hurting a little, like a bruise.

I sleep ad sleep and sleep, pass two hours.. Nobody came or tell us anything. Soon, mom went to ask if we were suppose to wait or anything. We were suppose to wait for the report so i continued with my sleep. According to my mom, i slept for like about 3 hours there. I could have sleep more but mom's hungry [pass lunch hours already] so we hurried the process. [if not i think it may take a few more hours]

The verdict was that i got this GERD [i thought it looks like the word GREED], which stands for gastric something something disease, or 胃酸倒流.. Bleh. If not attended to, ulcers may form or even cancer. Yikes. But mine is at the mild stage only so still heng lo. Now that it is diagnosed to be GERD, There is no cure for this disease so i got to be on medication for a few months so as to prevent the worsening of the condition and there are dietary control to. NO MORE CAFFEINE [MY 奶茶!!!!], PEPPERMINT AND WORSE OF ALL, NO MORE CHOCOLATE!!!!!  Wah, that was the worse moment of my life. LOL. Well, too bad, though life dont sick yet, it is not always very good. haha.

and another thing was perhaps due to my struggles or the doctor's lack of skill, i could feel my left throat injured [much like having an ulcer]. So it hurts each time i swallows, especially when throat is dry. And the amazing thing was i coughed blood the next morning, but all should be fine lar. Must take special note not to laugh, talk too hard and also not to tilt head too much ot it will feel stretched.

MORALE of story.... Eat regular meals and take care of health before it is too late [reaction is irreversible most of the time].

 

 

2. interhouse

yesterday was interhouse. i was not prepared to participate due to my shins [which are still hurting]. Nonetheless, i still participated. Thanks lots for all the concern, pushing on a little should not be too bad ba [though today shin hurting like siao.. haha..]. it was really hot and we started off with the relay. since there were too little guys, i got to run twice and Nicholas got to run 4 times.. O.O hard on him sia but he is good.. =) the second lap was rather comical. blue house was leading and shermaine was going to pass the baton to me.. All seemed fine and then she stepped on my shoe. Opps. it nearly came off but i wore it back, and hongyi mischievously grabbed hold of me. LOL. Random. Running in long pants was seriously hard. Each stride was limited by the width of the pants. We eventually came in second by a mild difference and that made hongyi very guilty. LOL. it was just a game and we enjoyed ourselves so it is fine actually.

But hongyi sure made up for it, with lots of charm i willl say.. =) since blue house has only 2 year 6 guys present, we got to get more people to join [which sparked some arguments]. Since i wasn't able to run that much,i be the goal keeper for the first match. Carelessly and comically, i let in one goal. It was a nice cross in and i caught hold of the ball with my right hand and just as i was falling down, eddy's head appeared below and with the ball in a downward motion and my hand in the upward resultant direction from eddy's header, the ball slipped from my hand and bounced into the goal. Yuck.. Was really ugly and i guess, eddy got quite a headache after that, paiseh lo.

For second match, hongyi became our iron wall blocking the goal. None pass and could pass through him. We eventually won with a nice score from nicholas and got to thank the year 5 drakon members for their support. We will seriously not have even formed a team without them. despite being a serious retard when it comes to soccer, i still have some affinity for the ball, for the fast balls i will say. Fast balls seem to get attracted to me somehow. LOL.

The games eventually ended with green being top, orange being second, blue being third and red forth. I got to say that all the teams played really well and even for a person who dislike soccer [i think that it is too rough a game and too much underhand acts.. =P], i found the match rather enjoying to watch. Not to forget to comment daniel for his golden goal. LOL! And i also got to thank the blue house gals for their great support and to a certain extend, it was rather intimidating i will say. HAHHAHAhaha.. The thought of it makes me laugh.

The moon was up early yester-night and it was contrasted with the fiery sunset. A really nice masterpiece of nature. Was a pity that i could not take it down and share besides the point that the image in registered in my head.

Few of us then head off for the gym to play volleyball. careless me split my thumbnail.. pain.. =.= eventually made me wave people goodbye with a thumb in my mouth. I have now realised the importance of a thumb sia.. and a right thumb to make it even more exact.

 

 

 

too long a post.. was thinking of another one regarding Mr Lam's talk which was really insightful and invoked quite some thoughts.. well, shall save it up.. since typing is hindered a little with an injured thumb..

 

 

~我沉默 你的话也不多
我们之间少了什么不说*

life..

 

getting late again..

 

Life is so much like a routine. Everyday wake up, bath, pack bag [not much to do pack because i bring the same stuffs each day.. xP], brush teeth, dad fetch to sch, reach sch, lessons, recess, more lessons, go home, bath, work, diary, sleep and the cycle continues..

 

yet what differ one day from another is those little things. Greatest of all is being able to wake up and still able to drag myself off bed [usually with a bad headache, neck ache, etc]. Those little things refers to all the random events; the weather, and human to human interaction. It makes me wonder if it is even possible to predict the future. If it is possible, i think that any small act will be able to change the future dramatically [imagine doing anything just one second slower], so to a certain extend, fate [much like a term for the degree of randomness] is something rather realistic.

 

Don't feel like doing anything now. Feel as though i just want to waste the time away to tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a big day; dad will be living for China and I will be going for my scope. Can't eat after 12am in preparation for the scope. Yesterday, was grateful that mom went to CGH with me. Both mom and I got to sign 2 letters which i think is about risk declaration; one for the scope and the other for anaesthetic, the 2 risks i mentioned in the previous post..

 

everything will be fine.. i hope.. =)

 

Felt bad wasn't able to support the girls through the interhouse [year6] cuz i need to come back home.. Hope that everyone had a great time, like monday. Wasn't able to kick soccer or run the rely due to my stupid splint. I seriously wonder what the heck is taking it so freaking long to heal. X.x Personally, i think that having interhouse at a level scale is indeed just right [though i thought otherwise before it]. It does allow almost everyone to participate. =) And to a certain extend, in spite of all the competition among the house, it really felt like a whole family. Aye, the DHS year 6 big family..

 

Always imagine the journey through life as a piece of painting. Starting out with a plain white piece of paper when we were young. Good memories add nice pictures to the piece of papers and bad memories disfigure the picture.. Eventually it will become a masterpiece. I am sure everyone have experience with art in a way or another. In the process of painting, what will you do when you make an error? Since young, i have loved art. Perhaps it is due to my mom's influence. Mom always taught me this: imagine you have only one drawing block and you will have to finish the art piece with this one drawing block. So even with any error made, the error will be made into part of the art. This is a positive attitude to life; since a paint is splattered on the work, there is no turning back already. So the best way is to work around the problem, but work on it. Decorate it and that will mean acting on it. aye... That's art and life for me..

 

Was just teaching mom and dad how to msn just now. Was rather enjoyable. I even played some lame msn games with dad. LOL. So in the end, we were making video calls around the house, testing the microphones and webcams. Lots of "ring ring", followed by "ANSWER LEH!" flew across the room. Got to make it a point to be more patient when it comes to teaching com stuffs. As reflected by my parents, we are like IT pros already relative to them so they will need us to go step by step and repeat the steps again and again. It makes me think of how my parents taught me how to write when i was young. So now is my turn. Seems like quite a tough job sia. But was sure comical and enjoyable to a certain extend. To be a good teacher, packaging of data have to be good too. Made easy and enjoyable.

 

back to the analogy of life as a piece of art [ok, i am a very pictorial person], people around you will add colours to the piece of art. Yet imagine one day, a particular person's prints were erased, will this art piece be complete again? Then again, tried to imagine if i were to be erased from other's picture, what will it be like... [not much of an impact i hope]

 

one more hour and no more food for me...

 

here is a nice song.. =)

 

世界唯一的你歌词

歌手：曹格 专辑：曹格首张创作专辑(格格blue)
是你
第一眼我就认出来
这是命运最美的安排
是我
让你过长的等待
我们只要现在深爱
幸福就来
恨我来不及参于你的过去
抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
这个世界唯一的你
是我拥有的奇迹
对我说的一字一句
都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意
过去所有的悲哀
都只是寻觅我唯一
勇敢真爱
照亮了漆黑的夜晚
寻找了一次一辈子
再不分开
恨我来不及参于你的过去
抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
呜...耶....
是一个奇迹
对我说的一字一句
都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意
....呜...哦...
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半
ho ...哦...
就算让我伤尽天理
我什么都愿意为你
紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意

 

 

hope i dont get hungry.. shall go pop another banana..

 

ok.. maybe 2.. more filling...

 

 

 

~就是世界与我为敌
我也愿意
我什么都愿意*

gaining from pain..

 

at last, i awaken..

 

found my path again. Found the path which i will wanna walk on for the remain years of my life. Indeed, i lost sight of my goal for a short moment. My motivations, my drive, my own ambition, leaving behind an empty case [much like a blindfolded donkey pulling the grinder]. Pathetic eh? Sure thing sia.

 

Pain. I do not agree to the phrase of "no pain no gain", but strongly believe that we should learn to gain from pain. At times, pain is something unavoidable and well, who longs for pain? Pain from receiving bad results, one after another, and other troubled thoughts.. My instant response was a coward one; denial.

 

In hoping to protect myself and prevent myself from being squished by negative thoughts, i self-disillusioned myself with that I-can-and-will-eventually-make-it attitude, in hope that that will boost my confidence. And the answer to that is both a "yes" and a bigger "no".

 

"Yes" is due to the immediate effect, allowing myself to run off and see refuge in a world that will rid me of my negativity by just not thinking about it. Videogames [which i have quit sometime ago], excessive mangas reading and animes, and whatever there is to just stop me from thinking of those stuff which will put me down. Yet, expectedly, such pleasures are short-live and unsustainable.

 

Hence, resulted in a bigger "no". It is as though i tripped and is falling down a pit, a deep one. Well, the reason for tripping may be of many reasons to a certain extend that it is unpredictable [who does make mistakes?], the focus here is what to do upon falling into this pit. I had chosen to ignore the fact of fall and do nothing, or even, enjoying the process of falling [naming choosing to take on "fun" things to make myself not to focus on the pain]. Yet, upon contact [which will come eventually], it will hit really hard and that is when reality sets in. Perhaps, even fatal.

 

Luckily, i just managed to slap myself awake before i smash onto the floor. I cannot allow myself to fall any further. The longer i wait, the more i will have to climb to leave this pit. It is going to be hard i guess, the steep walls and sharp edges. In the process of climbing, there may be slips which will send me falling again but i must not take so long to realise the grave error of choosing to stay in ignorance.

 

A painful lesson indeed, but a meaningful one. Name it as learning how to bounce back up upon falling huh? But bouncing alone will not be able to allow one to reach same if not greater heights [physics: due to drag], hence additional driving force must be supplied [in this case, initiated]. Glad that i eventually thought through it. Kinda abrupt but aye. Perhaps it is from this pain from the enjoying the game of volleyball, coupled with the great atmosphere to think [decided not to use the term "emo" lest get flak by comments] in school alone at the sit-up bench [watching birds fly in the sky and pace on the field, and (me) feeding mosquitoes] and on the way back on bus 81, and of course not forgetting the chat with junjie during dinner which refreshed and revived my goals and ambition..

 

Thank you for all concerns and i am back.. =) felt like posting this yesterday but it was rather late le..

 

well, life is not smooth sailing.. The physical aspect of me is crumbling. Tired and worn out. Just went for a consultation with a gastric specialist today and a new appointment of a scope is made. This thursday. The day when my dad will leave for an overseas business trip and i will be the only guy of the family le. Aye, got to take up more responsibilities wo.

 

Guess the side-effects/risk of the scope is rather low but they are kinda scary: possibility of the scope piecing through the stomach [and if that happens, immediate surgery will be required], and anaesthetic allergy. In relation to the second risk, i will be required to be place under observation 2hours after the scope. X.x Which will mean that i will be in the hospital from 0830 to most probably pass lunch since it is expected for things to proceed slower than expected [rather them take longer than to poke a hole in my stomach.. =X]. Sigh. Will be missing school again. T.T That's hindering my journey out of the pit of failing!! Shall not think of that and focus on getting well [though i dont think mental focusing will allow the body to heal whatever problems with the body; but then again if i think too much and get stress, recovery will be hindered i guess (not to say a worsened pimple outbreak. LOL)].

 

had been thinking of this (structured in a gp question form):
Eternity. A curse or blessing? Discuss. 

 

=P

 

end all off with a nice [old] song.. aye.. nice lyrics too.. enjoy..

 

分裂

词：周杰伦 曲：周杰伦 编曲：钟兴民
坐着我的摩托车
载你缓缓的离开
考不上好的学校
可以不微笑就走
把手慢慢交给我
放下心中的困惑
雨点从两旁划过
割开两种精神的我
经过老伯的家
篮框变得好高
爬过的那棵树
又何时变得渺小
这样也好
开始没人注意到(你)我
等雨变强之前
我们将会分化软弱
趁时间没发觉
让我带着你离开
没有了证明
没有了空虚
基于两种立场我会罩着你
趁时间没发觉
让我带着你离开
这不是顽固
这不是逃避
没人帮着你走才快乐

 

 

... nice and emo..

 

 

~雨点从两旁划过
割开两种精神的我*

will..

 

yupz.. lots of things happened as usual..

 

had been failing the recent test.. aye. quite some hard blows to stomach.. bio and gp.. more to come i expect.. sigh..

 

kinda loss focus on how to go about progressing.. but things will get better.. i agree.. i am a failure now.. but if i do not do anything about it, i will bound to stay a failure.. got to do smt.. but what and how.. got to seriously work it out.. got most of my supplements planned.. but wonder how effective will they work on me..

 

well, will figure that out..

 

today is buddy day revival part 2.. sadly, got to leave earlier for mothers' day celebration in my aunt's house.. i am still here [in my aunt's house]..

 

swimming is a really good sport.. it drills the physical being.. but also the psychological.. 100 rounds.. 10-20-40-30.. took us [tienleng and i] more than an hour..but it was sure a mental sharpener.. push on.. one more.. then another one more... go on.. yes, that should be what's driving the mental me in the race for A lvl too..

 

just hope that no shin splint will hinder me like of today..

from jj, about jj.. =)

 

nice nice nice.. =)

 

got the music version..nice nice nice too.. =)

 

 

[sound got a little weird.. suddenly loud then soft..]

 

《期待你的爱》的歌词
曲:林俊杰词:林怡凤许环良
my life 一直在等待
空荡的口袋
想在里面放一份爱
why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我实实在在
不管帅不帅
想要找回来自己的节拍
所以这一次
我要勇敢大声说出来
期待期待你发现我的爱
无所不在我自然而然的关怀
你的存在心灵感应的方向
我一眼就看出来
是因为爱
我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯越靠近越明白
不要走开
幸福的开始就是放手去爱

 

 

haha.. nice song.. thanks jj for the nice song.. =)

very different feel.. one emo one hip.. both oso so nice..

 

 

refreshing wind.. =)

too much celebrations..

 

damn it. i think i am going to get too used to celebrations and slacking.. since end of concert, life have been rather enjoyable.. haha.. credit it to all forms of slacking..

 

gee.. indeed, too much sia. wasted off today watching anime and warhammer.. sure enjoyable but well, the cruel reality is going to slap in in like 3plus hours when the whole cycle of mugging will repeat..

 

work hell lot for 6 days and play hell lot on the 7th.. wise words from Ms Tan.. i guess i shall do that.. but make it sure that it is just the 7 man.. not 7.5 or 8.. haha..

 

buddy day is REBORN!!! =) wootz.. though only danz and i turned up cuz tienleng and yiwei cannot make it.. nonetheless, just feel kinda great having able to meet up again [though there is a slight difference now that we dont bring our guitars along].. miss tienleng's 101 intimate poses with his guitar.. miss the times we will all get bored with homework and gazes will meet, whispering "guitar time".. and we will all start unzipping our bags and start.. "childhood", etc...

 

buddy day #? was philosophically rewarding.. lol.. ok.. joking.. sharing of some of our infj's complex thoughts does make me feel good.. but some how, spoken words are superficial [or at least i think so]. perhaps it is due to me being unable to express myself well through it.. always though written words are slightly better.. some words are never meant to leave the mouth.. 每一次想开口但不如保持安静... aye. that's the feeling i get most of the time.. prefer to listen.. =)

 

the answer to many questions is usually more questions..

 

well, the uncertainty of life is what makes it interesting.. and tiring at times too.. on the side note, it was overcast since about 4.. kept thinking that it will pour the next hour but it didn't.. now lightning dominates the sky.. sending frequent flashes, outlining the edges of the red clouds.. was half expecting the sound of thunder after each flash but all was silent.. 在长夜的边缘，若有一丝光线.. 我会选择多看你一眼 [instead of the original 你多看我一眼].. aye.. nice song..

 

snipped off my little "fin" / teletubby thing on top of my head [hair].. [so have you cut your hair and leave 2 "fins" on your head yiwei?] LOL.. at least like that more 像样.. ;)

 

pass 9 le.. but just ate so cannot sleep yet.. shall go write diary then can retire le..

 

on the side note, WHY NO MANGA UPDATE TODAY???!?!?!?!?!
[this is the reason why i have been floating around the whole day]

 

get well now to all sick/feeling sick/going to be sick people

 

 

~就连叹息影子听见
也是无言*

too many things

been a really long time since i last posted... seriously.. TOO MANY..

well, i shall try to get them all out.. need not predict... it will be a long post..

 

1. guitar concert + preparation

guitar practice sessions usually spells stoning in a room alone with my scores, a foot stool and, at times, my laptop.. laptop for guitar pro. yet this mental image will be something i will come to miss.. as i will usually take a room to myself, i will turn off all other lights and leave the 1st row on [so that i can read the scores, which was eventually redundant; eventually, the reason it is on is to prevent myself from being locked inside, which is highly possible as we will practice till late.. very late] so as the save electricity.. tienleng will join me occasionally and we will drill on the running notes.. pant.. they have always been a problem for my really rigid fingers.. through the course, i really feel that to a certain extend, i am handicapped.. with inflexible/over-flexible finger and vibrating hands [and a retarded brain], i can really have lots of problems playing what is deemed simple to most i guess.. nonetheless, when there is a will, there is a way right? not prefect but passable i hope..

like i was telling kevin, no matter what happens, time will still pass.. within that fixed amount of time, the concert will start and with a fixed amount of time, it will end.. regardless of the standard, regardless of the preparedness.. so what will come will come and what will pass will pass.. this is a way to get one to brace some difficult times when one feels like running away.. well, i find myself "comforting" myself with the same phrase at times..

my role in the concert is minimal.. firstly due to being too caught up by SC work at the beginning of the year and wasn't able to go for practice and secondly, because i am a music illiterate and wasn't able to catch up with the lag.. it was an act of kindness and was really understanding for the people to lighten my load in terms of guitar.. but being human, i was too shrouded by lots of paradigms.. really sorry for not expressing my gratitude but more of getting upset over myself for not being capable/up-to-standard to contribute.. i get too caught up in my inner world at times.. well, tienleng, perhaps my heart is darker than yours.. lolz..

but as correctly pointed out by Denjz, whatever role, whatever minimal, should be taken up with pride.. glad to say that i did managed to change my mindset long before the concert.. before i heard him say that [like 4 days before concert?].. a few more jobs for me popped up.. 1st, bird whistling.. and 2nd, 青花瓷... the second was a huge thing to me.. because, firstly, i don't sing well and secondly, i don't sing loudly and thirdly, i don't sing with mics and fourthly, I NEVER SING IN FRONT OF A CROWD BEFORE... GOSH.. really scary.. lots of problems.. remembered the first few times of practice is SERIOUSLY cannot make it.. even i felt so.. really appreciated how they never gave up on me and help me rearrange the song.. for that, many thanks to daniel [and junjie too =) ], Oxy and of course denjz.. remembered staying back late in school, jumping around on the stage with daniel on the piano and jingwen and i bouncing around trying to figure out how to add "fill in"s.. and later, due to my very limited range [loud enough to pass], oxy helped fractioned the song so that it will be less straining for me.. many thanks.. remembered at that point of time there were even debates as to whether we should scrap the piece.. remembered being caught in this "either way i will be upset" mood.. if the piece is cancelled, then it will be my fault that they practice for nothing.. if it is not, then i will be screwing up the performance.. found myself wiggling and retreating into my little hole again.. but with the rearrangment, things turned out better.. not to miss out, thanks jing wen for the many encouragement.. feel like a total weakling..

on the countdown of 1 week left to concert, it was mass drilling session.. everyday was a guitar day.. everyday will end at 8 plus? really nice uncle will wait for us or .... left out for uncle welfare [happy EAS day!!] it was then when denjz told us [jingwen and i] that QHC need certain modifications.. no feel of duet [i guess i was to blame in a way].. got to admit that i wasn't much feeling for the song because i was too caught up by the many things i need to take note of.. start with the right note [kevin pointed out that i have problems with pitching and i guess he is right], sing LOUDLY and clearly, not to zhaoxia and most importantly, don't stress.. too much things to note.. denjz then said, shouldn't all these come naturally with feeling for the music? perhaps they may but definitely not the loud part.. personally, i see no meaning in singly loudly then.. singing was just a hobby and what i will do when i am free or emo/reflecting.. never thought that it will be something which will be performed.. since i usually 清唱 or listen to mp3 [at volume 1] i need not sing that loudly.. so it was a great challenge for me..

denjz took the song back and worked on it and came back the next day with a prepared modulation add on to the song.. remembered it was a long day [gp consultation till really late; but a fruitful one.. shall mention about it later perhaps] and in "countdown terms", it was 2 days away from the concert.. this modulation is nice but hard to follow.. coupled with my bad pitching.. there were many many NGs in the practice process.. which made jw and denjz 抓狂.. the new arrangement also need me to use my 假音 as i will be singing part of the chorus which i initially was spared in Oxy's arrangement.. didn't wanna use because it is just too risky.. too weak.. but with denjz' encouragement, was made to use it.. so i was screaming to the phone on friday [concert on the following day].. jw got match and denjz did not come down so practice was through the phone [courtesy of yiwei and his free incoming plan].. as all this screaming will create lots of unpleasant noise pollution, i got to find some secluded place in the school.. so i walked behind the A block to that grassy place beside the railway track.. there were some fond memories but well, it is screaming session.. was pacing around the thick grass and shouting [i can't say singing] to the phone.. sun was setting and there was a nice gradient from blue to orange to gold stretching across the sky.. well, i was still screaming.. earned many mosquitoes' encouragements in forms of kisses.. and the overwhelming support made me decide upon switching of venue [now that the school is relatively quiet with the sky starting to darken]..continued the call on the bench facing the track at A block.. i love that place.. soon, the chamber people too flocked onto the field.. i continued my screaming.. the approx 2 hours call ended and i grabbed a guitar.. got the starting note for the start of verse one and chorus and scream to myself this time.. was really straining.. was fearful that it will eventually spoil my voice..

and the day finally arrived.. was to report to school at 845am to move the stuffs to DBS auditorium.. as usual, lots of stuffs to be moved.. upon reaching the school, met tienleng and xinzi stepping into the school compound.. and they passed me a bottle of chrysanthemum tea bought from ghimmoh.. was totally shocked and touched.. so much so that was at a lost of words.. "for a good performance during QHC".. those were their well wishes.. how i hope so too.. but was really touched..

alright.. get moving! heavy amplifiers, drum set, guitars, stands and chairs too.. since DBS audi does not have chairs.. many checks to ensure that all stuffs are in were conducted.. and soon we were off.. soon, we reached DBS and it was unloading time.. it is sure sweaty business.. perhaps the only thing i will not come to miss.. xP the purpose for reaching the place that early was to do a sound check and tech run for the whole thing.. amps were no longer used as, many thanks to jinghui, we got some other thing to connect to the main speakers.. this meant that we carried the amps for nothing but better safe than sorry... time sped pass really really quickly.. it is hard to believe that we stoned in there for almost a full day.. while others were doing their items, i got daniel, who was always all ready to help and greatly appreciate it, to help me play so that i can practice pitching and 转音.. need to find another place for me to shout and i did found one.. the fire exit.. nice place [though a little stuffy] with nice echo.. so drill and rest.. recharge and then drill again.. voice was rather strained but luckily got the 爱心菊花茶.. lolz.. denjz arrived later and was practicing with him so that daniel can go practice his chamber pieces.. despite being hours from the actual concert, there were still lots of bad zaoxia and wrong pitching.. then there was this need to make it seem like a duet so must have interaction with jw.. and hence a deal was formed: 合唱的部分就看对方.. sounds logical.. fine... lol.. and it turned out quite comical..

lunch just sped through.. oh yar.. many thanks to cyndi for coming down early to be our mc.. and practically rotting along with us at DBS for the day.. soon it was tech run.. lots of stuff surfaced... mics positioning, when to on the lights, when to dim it, when mcs speak, when to shift the things.. was like a race against time.. but it turned out that we did managed most of the issues.. though there is little we can do about the sound system.. really glad to have jinghui and team there sia.. termed "hero" by tienleng and xinzi, they will leap on stage adn adjust the mics for us heroically.. cant imagine the event running without them..

really soon, guest were arriving.. we got changed after setting up the stage.. i was genuinely tired so i skipped dinner and rest at the changing room.. negative thoughts were still polluting my mind.. in fact i was rather convinced that i will flop it.. kevin's words of "你唱歌不好听" was still ringing in my head.. but being that 多面人格 me, i got myself motivated again.. washed my face and prepare for the concert.. the thing is that surprisingly, i wasn't stress at all.. just very 平静.. it was evident that many were stress and it was exhibited in many forms.. from talking a lots to not talking at all.. popped in a stepcil [courtesy of daniel] and glupped down my tea.. flop or not, i will brace it.. it is rare for people to have the chance to have an audience listening to one sing, and i got this very chance.. good or bad, they have to listen.. haha.. so why worry.. remembered denjz sending me a message saying that i will be fine and it ended off with "nike".. and it got a dual impact on me. 1st: nike = victory and 2nd: just do it.. aye.. just do it...

get into position.. guitars in tune.. and kevin emerged with some heat pack which was good as it distract some of the more excited and stress people with something else.. never used a heat pack before but it sure brought warmth to our refrigerated fingers..could hear the increasing amplitude of the chattering of the audience.. meaning more people are streaming in.. imagine the stage opening and then it was all filled.. it feels good but stressful too eh? okok.. dont think too much.. sleep mode.. heat pack into pockets..soon, the mcs were talking and the curtain unrolled.. a really loud cheer set the atmosphere right [it is not going to be a classical concert of just display of skills but something slightly more fun and interactive].. eyes closed and left cheek still pasted against the side of my guitar.. the sound of footsteps gave the indication that it is going to begin and it was reconfirmed with the hitting of the triangle.. here we go!  

things sped pass.. was unsure if it was due to the excited me or us playing faster due to the excitement.. soon it was the end of the first half and time for intermission.. upon the announcement of intermission, it was really scary.. soon, there were people in the backstage and stuff.. O.o reminds me of "teenagers"'s mtv.. but they were just friends doing the delivery job.. remembered i was still behind the curtain, helping cyndi and darren tie their ties.. and as we are still adjusting the ties, the announcement went "10 more minutes to the end of intermission".. and that brought on some laughter.. and hence the suppose to be 20 mins intermission was 30 mins.. since the second half started chambers, i was rather free.. first job was morning glory.. the concert proceed and when it was tico tico, the bird-men, how xinzi termed us [chong tee, xinzi, jason and i], grabbed their bird whistles and moved out.. one per corner of the exits.. from where i was standing, people should not be able to see me because i am in the shadows.. chongtee was suppose to be the first to blow and he was at the exit at the other side [same level].. jason and xinzi were at the circle seats.. so chongtee came in and i remembered the head shifted to his direction and then i blew.. and head turned over.. since the audience wasn't lighted, all i could see were dark faces, followed by rolls of teeth [smiles i guess] so i bared my teeth too [smile back].. we were to exit after blowing and the four birdmen did a woosh outside [at the stairs which xinzi and jason came down from].. xinzi then shared a comical comment of people looking skyward upon hearing the sound of the bird whistle.. LOL..

really soon, it was the closing pieces.. chloro and el bimbo.. chloro was hard as usual but according to kevin, it tuned out rather well.. el bimbo was fast and i think kevin was sey when he conducted the piece.. and after that, it was encore.. QHC.. then there was a crisis.. no mics.. waited and waited.. then there was too many mics.. remembered hongsheng's brother [the brave young man] laughed at me for that.. surprisingly again, i wasn't stress at all.. just shut everything out.. was rather amazed how i managed to condition myself to that state.. perhaps it is somehow when i see others stressed then i will not be stress so as to not accumulate stress... er.. ok.. nevermind.. and it started before i finish adjusting myself.. 眼光扫过audi.. 看见了很多熟悉的面孔.. 脸带微笑.. 心想：若我唱得难听你们也非得听了... to a certain extend, it felt funny.. the tremolo, indicating the start, swap me back to reality.. "素 [drowned by cheers, i guess because the song resonate with the young jay loving mass] 胚勾勒 [can't helped smiling here because i sing wrongly again.. lei or le.. ought to be le but got to accustomed to singing lei and lei blurt out.. lol] 出青花笔锋浓转淡..."  and luckily my pitching wasnt off [at least i dont think i did].. and it ended!! just totally relieved.. junjie's imba phone was sure eye catching.. with the rest of the people smiling or perhaps laughing at me.. i cant help but feel like laughing too.. lolz. the most comical thing is that jw pangsei me.. i remembered making a conscious effort to turn to look at her whenever we are singing together.. look over... wait.. no response.. i swear i nearly burst out laughing because such incident repeated for a couple of times.. and 我不习惯looking at girls at close proximity.. at least that is rather close for me.. this hence earned me a title of "放太多电".. lol.. come to think of it, it is still really comical.. it ended off with 童年.. most of us already heck le.. heck as in got absorbed into enjoying the moment le.. coupled with the slideshow of our comical pictures [danz, xinzi and yiwei ones were particularly funny].. was sitting in front strumming because there is no way we [jw and i can squeeze back into the seats].. got jason and a mic and the three of us sat that the front of the stage..shall leave the malu part of jw and jason out.. we went back and the curtain closed.. and the frenzy began!!!! screams cheers smiles.. yells.. wonder if anyone cried [that will be too extreme] just genuinely happy.. happy that it didnt get screwed up and all our efforts were not wasted.. =) remembered was floating around the place.. really nice of those people to give presents.. got to admit was touched.. never in my life have i though that i will be doing something like this.. doing something so musical in my context.. it spelt the ending of a great chapter of my life now that it is over [though celebrations will last till A levels, so said other year 6s] and the beginning of another chapter of pure mugging.. yes.. this word bound to appear.. 空虚..the concert really bonded us.. at that instant on the bus trip back, it was as though a video was played in the fast rewind manner.. rapid flashbacks of what we have gone through together.. lunch, dinner, trip back home.. and even msn convos.. of course.. buddy days [is it going to be revived?] CNY celeb.. us guitar club people are sure fun-loving and enriching.. definitely more than just pulling strings.. and credits will go to our fun-filled instructor kevin, who made the journey through guitar an enriching and fulfilling one..

thanks to everyone for making it such a joy filled and memorable journey.. thanks to [in no particular order]:

• valerie: for being the 包到完 chairperson.. admin stuff to psychological state of the whole "family", your inputs are definitely crucial and valued.. got to say you did adapt well and seemed to better cope with the work.. not sure if you have been containing the stress but seem to be more smiley [which is good].. do spread work out to others to do in advance lest you snap! get well soon!
• oxy: for being the student conductor and tutoring me about music which can drive the self-proclaimed patient woman nuts.. and of course for the lame joke and lies which will result in a 自high state.. =) jiayou for netball!!
• jingwen: for making long and tiring journeys back entertaining.. the stream of endless stories and the gift to link various interesting stories from simple words is something really amazing about this 6 years friend of my [time files eh?].. thanks for the many encouraging words and the attempt to un-emo me [infj - the emo.. so cannot be helped de right? xP].. jiayou for netball too!!
• daniel: for taking time off and practice various parts with me, though it will usually end you up in hot soap because you played the crucial role in chambers, etc.. thanks for believing in me being able to make it.. and for being there to share my problems or just to emo.. well, fellow infj sync right? [shall not comment about the race for the front seat between infj py and danz]
• lengzai: yes.. thanks for the tea and of course.. for accompanying me in the container class room.. for trading comments with me about how to improve.. being there to trigger funny stuffs.. and for attempting to snatch the noob title from me which obviously you will lose because you learn fast.. and yes, for shouting for us to go ghimmoh.. too bad we didnt get to stay but there will come a day.. =)
• yiwei: fellow twin? nay.. only at face value.. this guy is imba smart.. the few that made it into top 4 [melody of hope?].. thanks for reminding me to 敢敢唱..thanks for accompanying me to eat because our lesson is always the last to end.. for carrying amps with me during recess.. for providing them with the phone to play golf and for me to call denjz [nono, for denjz to call me]..
• chong tee: for tutoring Guitar 3.. being always patient and a smiley alternative to stress imposing oxy at times.. xP not speaking out much but still contributing lots to guitar.. imagine guitar 3 without chongtee.. silence... lolz.. i shall present you your handphone as a token of appreciation.. LOL [i better remember]
• xinzi: for your ever entertaining self!! you just got the x-factor to tickle the funny bone in everyone.. yes, fellow bird man.. can still remembered your very eye catching pose when blowing the bird.. hahaha.. ah, got that nice city builder game too.. thanks for carrying all those heavy stuffs too.. cheers.. no more.. and finally for the chrysanthemum tea.. =)
• pingyen: for being "school bully"!! or should i say, entertaining us by taking up that role.. a person of strong personal stand and take to various issues, pingyen rises to the occassion when ever initiatives are needed.. pinyen sure gives people a sense of sercurity.. especially with a bat in the hand.. refer to daniel for picture.. lolz..
• eddy: for playing a fool at times of seriousness.. times when that will melt some stress away.. purposely increasing the tempo of the drums so that 童年 will double the tempo.. lolz.. funny.. it's a small small world eh? absence make the heart grows fonder [i defy py's order with a strikeout]stay cool and funky and "emo" hair.. lolz..
• kevin: for all the hardwork and effort input into us.. all the free meals you provide.. all the sharing sessions when we will talk till the shops close.. [like ah peks chatting] all the cliches phrase and comments made in the kevin-way.. stupid 的 lor/la.. shit 的 lo/lar.. or stupid! [with a large exclamation mark] and the 有没有搞错.. ahaha.. and the smell of the perfume in the car will be something i will come to miss i guess.. all the experiments to prove that solids CAN be compressed held in kevin's car, along side with screams at each bends or certain ahem* photos as inter-human forces of interaction come into play.. fret not.. guitar guys are perfectly straight.. i hope at least.. many thanks for the trading of comments as that is how one progress to higher heights.. i am sure you will lead dhsge to great heights.. =)
• denjz: for helping me out in QHC and also arranging the many non-guitar instruments.. from the tuning to amps etc.. 多才多艺 is the only way to describe this guy.. from yoga to music.. nothing stops him.. the stamina to listen to me scream into the phone for 2hours is really commendable too..
• jinghui!!! and team + MCs + ushers + photographers: for all the non-profitable help you people provided.. the concert seriously will not be able to pull through..considering all the numerous sacrifices you people got to make and not gaining any thing from it.. such attitude is really commendable and greatly appreciated..
• Mr Soh and Ms Ho: for all the troubles.. from translating the jap text to booking of the venues.. stoning with us for sat practices and tabao-ing food for us.. budgeting and ticket sales.. helping us buy time with the innovation of a quiz session before chloro [it did suceed with an over run though] and the faith in us to be able to perform.. such concern and help really went a long way.. thank thank thanks!!
• audience: for being so supportive and cheer-y.. it was seriously motivating.. was a pity that we could not stay long to chit chat after the concert considering that we overran.. and got to pack up and leave the place.. thanks for the positive comments but negative ones are welcomed too.. paiseh wasn't able to celebrate anting's bday properly considering that we were all rushing with the last round of loading and unloading.. many thanks for the many gifts of flowers to chocolates to short notes.. really touched.. never had this type of situation before so dont know how to react.. was a pity that flowers and chocolates are perishable goods.. but it is the thoughts that counts.. =)
• and the list goes on... haha.. shall not continue but all supports in any form is greatly appreciated..

the next day was bbq.. remembered was half asleep the whole day.. the night ended late as the few of us set off for chomp chomp [courtesy of kevin again].. the moon was really low and it carried a tint of red.. i remembered being shocked by how large it was.. too bad.. not camera again.. went to pasir ris park to meet the people.. and later lay on the grass beside the beach and stared at the sky.. yiwei was there and later valerie joined in.. upon laying on the grass, i got this intuition that i will see a shooting star.. and indeed.. i saw not one but two.. the first one was really lucky.. was staring at the sky and as one stare, more stars will appear.. and i though i seen one appear.. to make sure, i shield my eyes and take a better look and woah! the first shooting star shot across.. was rather faint and guess will not have seen it if not for shielding my eyes.. the second one was seen by the three of us.. brought back really fond memories of bintan.. typically when a shooting star zip across the sky.. pause.. someone will say "did you see that?" and then if at least one more person sees it, then there will a mini cheer.. haha.. well, that did happen then too.. 眼底心空.. feels good.. listening to mp3 player and staring at the sky.. volume 1 of the mp3 player sounds really clear there.. nice place.. it was a bbq which i ate the least.. one chicken wing, 2 satay and many mashmallows.. running around barefooted does feels quite good only that the few seeds do cause some pain to the leg..

 

 

 

 

well, this post is getting too long.. shall stop at point 1. and share the rest the next time..

 

better get back to mugging..

 

embrace the new life of mugging..

 

 

 

 

 

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