altruism

 

argh.. I am already feeling the "wrath" of my various subjects. Despite having lots of things to post about, i just cannot find the time to do it till today. For the whole of today, the only thing i managed to accomplish is revising econs [and it is a H1 subject]. And i did not FINISH revision but merely completed 1.5 SUB-chapters of macroeconomy. =.=

 

I got to admit that i am no mugger [perhaps i am in the pass but not now]. I no longer possess the sit-down-and-mug-for-the-whole-day stamina. LDMR sets in too quickly. I guess i must numb myself from the chance to think of any leisure activities by filling and packing my schedules in the way that i cannot slack.. So i guess it is justifiable to go help out at SCAS [Spastic Children's Association School] for CIP. I am doing CIP everyday from 830am to about lunch adn started yesterday..

 

If you have read my previous post [a few back i guess], you will know that i have a pathetic amount of CIP hours. Well, CIP is a good way to get people started with Community Service but i don't exactly like the thing about clogging hours. People serving for the sake of hours just don't sound right to me. But i guess i fall guilty to the group of people who will stay in our comfort zone and take things for granted if not for CIP hours motivation. i still think that just like examinations, they set a myopic view, missing out the greater details and learning objectives.

 

As for Spastic Children's Association School, it in fact a place i am very familiar with. I ran away from the school and mixed into dhs. No lar, joking nia. My elder sis and i went there to volunteer before and looking back, i was only in sec3 then. I remembered that i went there during the school holidays too. Wow. Time really flies. I was invited to their dinner then too. I remembered i went there alone because my sister's invitation failed to arrive. I was one of the youngest guy there then. Sat around the table of strangers and being a volunteer could allow conversations to be strike just like that. They are all very approachable and smiley people.

 

Now that i am back into the campus, it does made me feel guilty that i am entering the premises with the initial thought of CIP hours. I messaged Ms Toh to make a query if there is a maximum number of hours that i can clog from a particular organisation. And the reply message was that i can accumulate at most 8 hours a day and along with it came the reminder of the greater importance of learning from the experience and also to focus on studying and preparation for exam. I was really grateful for the reminders though i already had them in mind. I think that it is exactly the way to teachers can help make CIP more effective through the such reminders [though it may sound rather cliche]. Personally, i go have great goals and aspirations, but my way of working is usually of a different focus [dont exactly know how to express]. Take for example studying, i have the goal of wanting to obtain straight As and that is what spurs me to start doing work. But once i start doing work, i will be focusing on enjoying the learning process rather than still being motivated with the same As thought. Works the same way with CIP hours and serving the community...

 

~google earth image of SCAS campus.. it is beside meridian jc

 

Since SCAS is just like any other school, they are having a term break now too. Which also meant that there are no students in school and i cannot help run school activities [just like the previous times]. As usual, i helped out with the admin matters [which are the stuff which i can help with]. So there were filings to be done, typing jobs, digging of archives, etc [basically the jobs of the secretary]. Being a very disorganised person who HATES filing [amelia, jingwen and yiwei should know - i meant, look at my fat file which i bring around all the time], such jobs are rather demanding but it is never too late to start organising my stuff, and my life..

 

So while filing those archives, thoughts were running through my mind [as usual]. There are students [some as old as us (18)] who are psychologically less stable than the average and quite a few required subsidies as they were from less-well-to-do families. I even came across this one case of a student who passed away.. All this time i had been so fortunate and i took things for granted. My state of mine, my time.. What will it be if i am indeed one of the students there studying? Imagine all the social stress faced by these people.

 

Just as thoughts were getting rather down and negative, i had a paradigm shift. There is this lady who happened to suffer a certain disorder but is fit to mend the counter and various activities like pushing a trolley to get things from a place to another. She does have some difficulties in walking but she made an effort to enter the room which i was working in and offered me a packet of green tea. Another happening made me reflect upon myself more. The same lady was reminded [i don't think it is harsh enough to be termed as scolding - firm tone but not harsh] not to leave the counter empty and always ensure that someone at the counter in case of any emergency. I was surprised by the lady's immediate reaction: a sincere apology. That is something only a person with high level of 修养 will be able to react at such a situation. i was taken aback and felt that to this extend, the able me is much disabled compared to her. Is it due to us being too conscious of ourselves and held ourselves so high up that we tend to save our thanks and apologies to ourselves? Ironically, the more capable of us in terms of thinking, the more things we worry about and when we worry about these things, we forgot about the basics of expression. i think this is one great take away i got from providing my service. And nope, it does stops here. I got to say that i have, like many others i believe, have cultivated this bad habit of inhibiting our expression of gratitude/apologies.. So much so that despite letting the words out of the mouth, it may not exactly sound sincere. Hence working in that evnronment does sharpen my patience, and my 修养 and not forgeting to learn to not take things for granted...

 

hence if you dont know, altruism refers to putting others before self.. I came across this word while reading reader's digest after SCAS.. what a coincidence huh?

 

Will be going down to NUS to help carry some computers back.. That will earn me a free lunch but well, that [the lunch] is optional... It does feels great to be able to help in any form. And YAR!! They are selling donation tickets [you know? those with lucky draws?] and i volunteered to take a booklet. There are 10 tickets inside and each costs 2bucks. You can get one from me if you are willing to donate. As for those who needs more motivation, here are the list of prizes [shall not harp on the correct mindset to donation since ultimately any form of donation will be helpful]:

1st: cash $8000
2nd: cash $5000
3rd: cash $3000
4th: cash $2000
5th: return air ticket to beijing for 2 -free and easy
6th: 6months classical violin and guitar course [sounds cool rite?]
7th-14th: sony ericsson k7701 cybershot phone
15th-19th: Derma Nano Skin Care Products [no idea what this is]
20th-22nd: JE computer and education center course voucher
23rd: in-room digital safe [donated by anonymous!]
24th: 5 piece lawry's dry fit champagne glasses [i though dry fit only for shirts] - donated by anonymous too
25th: 14" red miine trolley bag and lancester cosmetic products - donated by anonymous!
26th: siemens gigaset a260 duo
27th-29th: lancester hamper -donated by anonymous
30th-33rd: F&B credit vouches & 1 sauber junior graphic t-shirt
34th: meal voucher at white rose cafe
35th-38th: imperial treasure nan bei restaurant food voucher and $30 pizza hut vouchers -by anonymous and pizza hut singapore [for the rest too]
39th-48th: $20 PH voucher and 1 sauber junior graphic shirt
49th-50th: $40 PH vouchers and 1 lawry's lightweight umbrella

pant.. this sure took me quite some time to type sia. I only typed those sponsors which are anonymous because i thought it was rather interesting and to give up something without wanting the credit for it is indeed altruistic.. Perhaps they are all philanthropies. . =)

 

Despite of all these, i still got to spend more time on my work sia.. 这世界太现实了.. Ironic huh? 现实 was never meant to be a bad word and in fact, how can being realistic [my bad translation for 现实] be bad. But the idea is there, it does points out the various things that have to be forego. Some used this phrase to justify scheming.. Well, it is rather sad to hear that the world is too "realistic" to live in.. I got to admit that i admire people with the strong will to do good. I though valerie kor's save-the-animal acts are really quite touching [going vegetarian and helping the night safari]. Then the question comes whether such giving people can survive in such a practical [a more accurate translation i just thought of (pardon my d7 chinese)] world? 以我来看，这种生活方式是可能的，但这将会是道很辛苦却充满意义与满足感的路。我有这种能力与度量坚持到底吗? 不，应该说坚持到他成为我价值观的一部分为止...

 

Alright, less of such thoughts and moving on to yesterday night [suppose to be evening].. IT IS OUR GUITAR CONCERT 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY! Woah.. time really files.. Oxy still poke frequent reminders on what we were doing at some particular timings and it sure made our minds/hearts resonate with the same image/feelings. We were suppose to meet at serangoon MRT station at 5 and set off for chomp chomp. Since my stomach is weak, i cannot take those seafood and spicy stuff till further notice. So i ate at home before going, hence resulting in meeting them at about 6 plus or 7 plus. Took 53 down to Oxy's house and changed to 315. Brought back memories of the day when i was going home from her house at the same timing [after poster making] while i am going to somewhere else now. Shall skip my bad encounter with the stall uncle and move on with the dinner. The food sure looks good though i can't eat. Lots of funs were poked at one another [haha.. interesting way of bad expression].

 

While waiting for grand captain/teacher ping to arrive, we tried deciding on a place to go and something to do and we eventually ended up decided on "deciding" and then home. If you dont get what i mean, i meant we ended up deciding to carry on with the activity "deciding" and then leave for home. LOL. Not surprising huh? XinZi made an interesting prediction of the reaction of keng hoe if he was here. Got no photos to post as usual due to my lag of imba decent phone cam. We eventually landed up at a coffee bean stall. I got the say that the place was radiating a romantic ambience.. until our arrival [coupled with our loud talking]. The main cluster started playing zhong ji mi ma with the penalty of truth or dare. it must have been quite fun since there were lots of laughter but wasnt in the mood of numbers so i didnt join them. So a smaller cluster was formed. Daniel, jason, xinzi and me. The 4h guys started singing and i thought it was really quite enjoyable [despite having a sorethroat (lasted from that scope)]. That brought denjz's words back to me about forming of bubble. i think we have indeed accomplished that, considering we were singing in the bus.

 

Talking about bus, we boarded 315 in desperation to chase Oxy, only to find ourselves [the 4h guys - oxy suggested encephala] taking the loop service in the wrong loop. =.= and that left us with a bladder filled jason singing the high pitch vocal of "lion sleeps tonight" with me and daniel filling in [an attempt for encephala xP] I got to say that we got powerful voices.. So much so that we scared an Ah-Beng like guy away. ROFL. Oxy's toilet saved the 53 from getting wet. And sorry to dirty the floor. Daniel, are you sure you didnt wet the floor when oxy turned off the lights?

 

My younger sis will be flying over to taiwan for a language trip.. Flight at 6 so got to wake up early. Shall inspire to fuse in exercise into my already tight schedule. Reminds me of the anti-smoking song: a healthy body makes a healthy mind...(you dont need tobacco to pass the time.. you dont need the habit that gives you pain. you dont need the nicotine stain).. wow! i still remembered the song. Fond primary school memories. AND YAR! As i was saying we 4h guys were singing, Jason and i still remembered our primary school song!! and we both agreed that it was a nice song, not to say simple and meaningful too.

 

was thinking again how will i react if i am diagnosed with a terminal illness and the doc tells me that i have XX number of days/weeks/years left.. in fact such thoughs are not anything "sway" or what.. everyone will die sooner or later. Imagine this person who can predict the future tell you your remaining life span/how long you will last to the end of you life.. it is as good as a doc telling you that: I am sorry to inform you that you are down with XXX and you have only (for example) 50 years to live. Well, 50 years seems like long time huh? What about 50 months? 50weeks? 50 days? And if it is indeed 50 days, think of waking up at the 51st day.. I think i would have gave a loud cheer and perhaps die from that. Daniel once told me about him thinking of all the "interesting time to die". Straight As for A level and die is one of such example. Indeed, we never know.. At that every moment, everything which was important will never seem to be as important and those which were less so will suddenly seemed more so. Back to the irony of getting caught up with complexity that we missed out the basics. Life is sure full of ironies..

 

I think i have posted this song before but i thought it will be this song that i will want to dedicate to my love ones [my family and friends] if i were to leave this world..

 

Close your eyes -Westlife

[If you wanna know]
Tomorrow morning I have to leave
But wherever I may be
Best believe I'm thinking of you
I can't believe how much I love you
All we have is here tonight
We don't want to waste this time
Give me something to remember
Baby put your lips on mine (ok.. maybe not this part)
And I'll love you forever
Anytime that we find ourselves apart

Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you just close your eyes
Till your drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes

I know I'm gonna see you again
But promise me that you won't forget
Cause as long as you remember
A part of us will be together
So even when you're fast asleep
Look for me inside your dreams
Keep believing in what we're sharing
And even when I'm not there to tell you
I'll, I'll love, Love you forever
Anytime that I can't be where you are

(Chorus)
Is there anywhere that far?
Anytime you're feeling low
Is there anywhere that love cannot reach?
Oh no
It could be anywhere on earth
It could be anywhere I'll be
Oh baby if you want to see
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Look to your heart
That's where I'll be
Just close your eyes
Till your drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
(Chorus)

 

and end it off with 借口's...

~如果难过
请你忘了我*